Discover the Dinosaurs

Looking Up, Out & Ahead

After the amazingly shitastic week I had last week,the tides have certainly changed. Once I snapped out of moping and really put some things into perspective, my mood and my week headed for the better. I have been trying to do something new every morning. My goal is to, upon waking, thank God for five things in my life. It can be anything, but I just have to do it.

This morning:

1) that I'm alive
2) Liam's sleeping, healthym happy body next to mine
3) that I have come so far in this weight loss journey
4) that mom and dad are ok
5) that I had enough money to pay bills this week and buy myself and Liam something extra

So let's recap the good this week:
1) got asked to do a DVD review for my blog for the company Copy-Kids. REALLY excited about this because I am totally behind the company's mission which is to get kids eating healthier by copying other kids eat their fruits and veggies. Since I'm on my lifestyle change, I'm all about this!

2) Got a little OT at work

3) am in the process of FINALLY reaching a settlement agreement with the Other (Liam's sperm donor). I'm hoping and praying for this to work out. That would mean no trial and much less money I'd have to spend.

4) Good grades

5) had some amazing workouts!

6) bought some much needed new and cute clothes (i'll do a style post)

7) got to bond with some of the kids at my library job

8) felt damn good about myself

9) got to spend some extra QT with Liam :)

"A journey of a 1,000 miles begins with a single step"

title quote by Lao Tzu.

Someway, somehow this weekend I got a wild hair and decided that I am running one of the most popular 5Ks in Lexington: A Midsummer Night's Race on August 11, 2012...Umm wow! I am sooo excited and soooo nervous ALREADY lol.

I know that this type of challenge is necessary in my weight loss journey and for my life.I have had some experience in overcoming obstacles (especially those unforseen ones). This race would come at a great time symbolically and practically in my life. Symbolically, it will be right around the time last year that I began my weight loss journey. Practically, it's a couple of weeks before school starts and I can corral my family and friends to come out and support me.  Now, I am setting myself up purposely for a huge challenge. Mentally I am ready, physically it will take ALL of the next 2 months to get there.The training begins this week.

I have Google'd "running a 5k for beginners", "running a 5k for fat girls" and a plethora of other queries. I have found some great info and very positive encouragement. There is still a part of me that thinks I'm nuts.This is my inner fat girl. She's screaming out #girlbye lol. But this is something I truly feel compelled to do.

My goals for this race are simple: 1) to RUN the whole time 2) to finish 3) to survive it lol. I don't care about placing, I sure as hell am not trying to win the thing. I want to do it for me, for Liam, for everyone that reads this blog, for my friends, for anyone on a weight loss journey, for my future clients when I become a nurse personal trainer/health & wellness  nurse.

When this year began I said I wanted it to be different than last year. I made my dream board. I kept vlogging about my weight loss journey to be held accountable, even when I gained weight. I told myself and envisioned this year as different and better than ever before. I said I'd give love (well at least dating) another try.  I wanted to be fearless, determined, dedicated, finally make some dreams come true. I am doing it! Struggling and slipping sometimes along the way, but I am doing it. Since January 1 (not counting Aug-Dec 2011), I have lost close to 30 lbs. I started doing my prereqs for Nursing school knowing that this is the path I was meant to take. I started working on being a better mom and being more present in Liam's life. This is a great feeling. I can't wait to look back on this post, my future 5k and see how far I have come.

There is a quote that has been especially inspirational to me as of late: "We must let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us" - Joseph Campbell.

10 Reasons Why Motherhood Was My BEST Decision

1) I discovered love on a level I never even knew existed

2) Liam has given me the motivation push I need to be my best self. Being the only person in charge of another human's life will give you a strong push in the right direction.

3) I get to look at my beautiful creation every day. Many times in life we work so hard for things and don't get to see the spoils of our labor...I have gotten to see my "spoils" grow from a 7lb 5 oz newborn to the 42 lb hunk of man-child he is today

4) I have learned to enjoy the small moments. Prior to having Liam, my life seemed like it was so fast paced. It was mostly work and school and few drunken nights. Now I take the time to stop and look at flowers, animals, beautiful murals, children playing, dogs outside and small things I may not have otherwise noted.

5) It lit the fire under my ass to finally do something about my weight in a permanent way. I want to continue to be a lifelong example for Liam. Examples are something that are instilled by words and actions.

6) I learned how strong I really am. When I made the decision to be a single mom (because I knew his father was not right for me), I didn't know what to expect. It was scary, devastating, confusing and I wasn't sure if I could/would do it. Thanks to family and friends' support I can, I did and am still doing it.

7) Liam inspired my first company L.I.A.M. Artistry, LLC. "Life is Always Made". Without him being in my life, my vision never would have come to fruition.

8) Liam is the reason I started this blog back in 2010. I was much younger mother than I am now and was looking for a way to get back to my writing roots and meet with people and share experiences. I have successfully done that.

9) It has given me a new perspective on relationships. I don't tolerate bullshit right from the jump. I now not only have myself to consider, but also the blending and combination of THREE lives. I am much more selective and sure about what I want in my life and in our lives. No 1/2 stepping over here sir!

10) Motherhood has empowered me as a woman. I got to view my body in a new light. I created a human life. I grew a baby! How amazing is that? :) I appreciate my body. I appreciate the things it can do. It allowed me to see and experience one of God's many miracles.

To all my fellow moms out there...what about you? What has/have your kid(s) brought to your lives?  What positive things has motherhood brought to your lives?

Back on Track

Sometimes I fall off a bit, but I will not give up on achieving a healthy lifestyle for me or my son. I gained 2 lbs last week due to poor eating habits. But I know one thing, I'm BLASTING the fat this week. I am staying on track. I want to lose this weight so bad. I'm almost at the 1/2 way point. I'm not stopping now. There is too much at stake for me to quit.

I keep thinking about the things I want to do that are health/wellness related. I want to motivate people, I want to study bodies and the issues of weight loss. I want to become a personal trainer, I want to become a Nurse Practitioner who helps hundreds and thousands of people to avoid the same pitfalls that shaped the beginnings of my life and eating habits.

I want to help people live. I want to inspire them to do better and I want to show them how. In order to do these things...Gandhi said it best "you must be the change you want to see in the world".

So if you have fallen off your goals, need the extra motivation or just got stuck in a rut. Reflect about why you are doing this in the first place.Becoming healthier and leaner...what does this mean to you? for you and for your family?