So I have been dreading this trip since I knew about it last month and now the time is almost here. Liam's Thanksgiving visit to see his "father". People who don't know me may always wonder why I am such a Negative Nancy when it comes to this issue?
Here are the reasons:
1) the missing genetic piece in this equation has not had ANY sort of contact with Liam since April; no phone calls, no emails about him, no NOTHING
2) he is still behind on child support and ONLY began to pay child support b/c it was court ordered & the garnished it from his wages; prior to that in 18 months he had given me and Liam 2 small packs of diapers, $80 and yeeeaaaah that's about it
3) he is an idiot! there is no reasoning, no negotiating with this guy. He wants to have control over this situation. YET he has done nothing to augment the daily care, physical/mental development of my son and still feels it's his "right" to tell me what to do and how WE should live our lives.
4) I moved out of NYC b/c I could/can no longer afford to live there, he straight up lied to the judge and told her I took him away w/o letting him know. His WHOLE family including him had known since last Christmas
5) I honestly feel he can't add anything positive to Liam's life: he can't teach him to be a better person, he can't teach him to be a real man, he can't teach him to be a father, he's not even intelligent and conscious enough to appreciate and understand the value of education.
He has fulfilled his role as a sperm donor, now if he will step aside and let me continue with REAL parenting, I have no objections to that! These are honest feelings and opinions, if you don't believe in my parenting style/ability, then that is on you. I know my son and I know my situation and this is currently what it is for us.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Afro-Kinky - Hair Chronicles
Since getting my last relaxer in 2007 and going through much trial and error I have come to appreciate the unique texture of my hair and its complexities. One thing that I don't like is the length or lack thereof. As of today I am in the 7-10 inch range. 7" being the shortest and 10" the longest, which isn't terrible. But not all of my hair is healthy. I badly need a trim and I need to begin the process of deep conditioning my hair every week for the next 5-6 weeks. Let's start with my natural hair type: I have some combination of type 4 hair.
I have found some amazing products that REALLY work for me and Liam's hair:
Oyin Handmade - they have an amazing lotion, detangler, deep conditioner & I also use their juice and berries detangler and refresher hair spray.
Bitoin and prenatal vitamins - I think have helped my hair growth, I know at least my nails r growing quicker.
Cantu Shea Butter deep conditioner - pretty good, costs around $6-7, was using it every day as a hair dress.
I have found some amazing products that REALLY work for me and Liam's hair:
Oyin Handmade - they have an amazing lotion, detangler, deep conditioner & I also use their juice and berries detangler and refresher hair spray.
Bitoin and prenatal vitamins - I think have helped my hair growth, I know at least my nails r growing quicker.
Cantu Shea Butter deep conditioner - pretty good, costs around $6-7, was using it every day as a hair dress.
My Financial Future
So after reading a post by Candace from newyorkstateofmom.blogspot.com , I decided to revist my own spending habits budget!
Successes:
* I am 3 payments from paying off one of my biggest CC debts (last payment due January 2012)
* I do have a budget in place (not updated currently but I'm working on it)
* I am FINALLY finding the value in buying things DISCOUNTED - anything I can get on sale, no more full price unless it is necessary
What to improve:
*I need to start a college savings for Liam
* I need to begin my ROTH IRA once tax season hits
* I need to start my own personal "rainy" day savings (let's say $15 per pay period)
* tackle the rest of my CC debt
I am seriously considering becoming an Associate for Isagenix. I will try it for let's say 3 monrths and if nothing comes out of it and I don't make residual income, then I will continue to purchase their products at the discount price and that will be all.
I will continue to develop my makeup biz, spending some of my tax return on much needed supplies to keep me going. I'm hoping by freelancing w/ Smashbox I can generate more clientele.
I have much to work on and I'm going to take small steps to get there! Share with me some budget/money saving tips...What do you do to save on necessities?/What do you splurge on?
Successes:
* I am 3 payments from paying off one of my biggest CC debts (last payment due January 2012)
* I do have a budget in place (not updated currently but I'm working on it)
* I am FINALLY finding the value in buying things DISCOUNTED - anything I can get on sale, no more full price unless it is necessary
What to improve:
*I need to start a college savings for Liam
* I need to begin my ROTH IRA once tax season hits
* I need to start my own personal "rainy" day savings (let's say $15 per pay period)
* tackle the rest of my CC debt
I am seriously considering becoming an Associate for Isagenix. I will try it for let's say 3 monrths and if nothing comes out of it and I don't make residual income, then I will continue to purchase their products at the discount price and that will be all.
I will continue to develop my makeup biz, spending some of my tax return on much needed supplies to keep me going. I'm hoping by freelancing w/ Smashbox I can generate more clientele.
I have much to work on and I'm going to take small steps to get there! Share with me some budget/money saving tips...What do you do to save on necessities?/What do you splurge on?
Monday, November 14, 2011
Single Life
Yep my dating life is bout as blank as the rest of this post lmfao! *sigh* There is NO scene in KY :(. Wacktastic!
Weigh-In Week 12 November 12, 2011
http://youtu.be/HGpu4unYBVc - link to my vid, come check me out
The Deets:
weight: 314.2 = -0.6lbs lost since last weigh-in :/
Goal: 19 lbs to lose by December 31, 2011
Total weight lost: 14.6 lbs
To final goal: 94
This week:
* Workout out 5x - start 1 day of 2x/day (before and after work)
* Start v3 (November 14)
* eat more times. less food
* check out personal trainers in the area
The Deets:
weight: 314.2 = -0.6lbs lost since last weigh-in :/
Goal: 19 lbs to lose by December 31, 2011
Total weight lost: 14.6 lbs
To final goal: 94
This week:
* Workout out 5x - start 1 day of 2x/day (before and after work)
* Start v3 (November 14)
* eat more times. less food
* check out personal trainers in the area
#Random Post: Rihanna - music opinion
I am not normally a HUGE fan of singers. I have a great respect for artists and musicians and those whole evolve in their craft. I'm not always into her style and hair choices, but even though Rihanna doesn't have the best voice, her music IS changing, evolving and she is GROWING as an artist. As Jay-Z's protege, he couldn't really ask for me. I read a stat where she is either tied with Janet Jackson's record or has already suprassed it for most #1 singles! That shit kray! lol. I will be the first to admit when Rihanna first came out I didn't think she would last because her image was too sqeuaky clean and her facade was not believable to me...
Since then, her music has gotten grittier, sexier and much more real. That is in part to her growing up and changing as a person and the unwavering skill of these people writing her songs hit after hit. Her two newest singles "We Found Love" and "You Da One" are truly in line with the type of hits she has been putting out in recent years and I truly don't think she is going anywhere soon. I purchased her last CD "Loud" and wasn't impressed much beyond her standout singles, but I do think with the two afromentioned leading singles I will either purchase those from iTunes or possibly even buy her next studio effort.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg00YEETFzg&feature=BFa&list=HL1321278083&lf=mh_lolz "We Found Love"
"You Da One" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nttL0SXLBZE&feature=BFa&list=HL1321278083&lf=mh_lolz
Since then, her music has gotten grittier, sexier and much more real. That is in part to her growing up and changing as a person and the unwavering skill of these people writing her songs hit after hit. Her two newest singles "We Found Love" and "You Da One" are truly in line with the type of hits she has been putting out in recent years and I truly don't think she is going anywhere soon. I purchased her last CD "Loud" and wasn't impressed much beyond her standout singles, but I do think with the two afromentioned leading singles I will either purchase those from iTunes or possibly even buy her next studio effort.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg00YEETFzg&feature=BFa&list=HL1321278083&lf=mh_lolz "We Found Love"
"You Da One" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nttL0SXLBZE&feature=BFa&list=HL1321278083&lf=mh_lolz
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Hump Day November 9, 2011
So I'm here at work at the library. I should be working on some type of programming plans for our winter break programs here at the library but instead I am blogging lol. I need to get another laptop as I have finally killed off the 2 I had (1 REALLY old and the other fairly new). I realize I must get some better tools in order to perfect my craft :).
I've had a really good week thus far and will share with you guys some of the highlights:
1) being off Sunday - spending time with Poops
2) working early both yesterday and today and getting to spend more time with Poops
3) finishing up my book discussions with the Linlee School and feeling like I was really reaching out to the kids and learning things from them - they even surprised me with a gift card to Applebee's - TOTALLY unexpected, but definitely appreciated.
4) I quit job #2 and will have my last day there Nov 19 - praise God!
5) I'm just in a general good mood
I hope things are going well for everyone else out there and until next time this is Single Momtrepenuer signing off. :)
I've had a really good week thus far and will share with you guys some of the highlights:
1) being off Sunday - spending time with Poops
2) working early both yesterday and today and getting to spend more time with Poops
3) finishing up my book discussions with the Linlee School and feeling like I was really reaching out to the kids and learning things from them - they even surprised me with a gift card to Applebee's - TOTALLY unexpected, but definitely appreciated.
4) I quit job #2 and will have my last day there Nov 19 - praise God!
5) I'm just in a general good mood
I hope things are going well for everyone else out there and until next time this is Single Momtrepenuer signing off. :)
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Weight Loss Updates/ Goal Breakdown
Yes, I am still fat. No, I'm not as fat as before lmfao!
This is 11/5/2011 weight: 313.8 (-15lbs)
Now to break down my goals into what would be ideal for me, FFF Week '12 and just in general:
My 1st major goal = Dec 31, 2011 - weigh-in at 295
February 1, 2012 (my 24th birthday *cringe*) - 285
March 15, 2012 - 275 (this is around the time of that I would submit for FFF Week auditions by video and application online)
May 15, 2012 - 255
June 1, 2012 - 250
Aug 1, 2012 - 235
Oct 16, 2012 (Liam's 3rd bday; at this weight I would be 45 lbs UNDER my pregnancy weight) 220 FINAL GOAL!!!!!!!!!!
Some people will think I am nuts b/c I want to weigh 220. But if you see 220 lbs worth of fit lean, feminine body mass you would understand what I'm trying to do. I am an aspiring PLUS SIZE MODEL. The industry is over run with size 12s and 14s. I want to be a fit, flat tummied, cellulite free, rubenesque, curvy size 16. That is ok with me. :) If I am healthy, workout regularly and eat right, who is to tell me that a size 16 is still fat?! I won't care. I have seen fat. At my heaviest weight 328.8 lbs - THAT is fat. Wearing almost a size 24 W...THAT is fat. So when I get to my beautiful size 16, you, you and you over there, can't tell me nothing! :)
Funk Be Gone - Happy November & Other Updates
Over a week ago, I wrote about my inexplicable funk. But chile, I'm better now lol. I have been able to put things into perspective and try to get a grasp on wtf is going on in my life! My #1 problem (and one I ALWAYS face) I am overextending myself. I put unnecessary pressure on myself and attempt to do 8 millions things at one time, by myself and sometimes in multiple directions! I decided I need to slow tf down and live my life piece by piece, section by section and most importantly, with less on my plate.
#1 - Job #2 has GOT TO GO. When I started there I had a specific goal in mind, but now that I have some financial help (in loan form), I am able to fulfill a debt that had a deadline swiftly approaching. I have my 2nd interview with MAC and will be freelancing for Smashbox in addition to my primary library job...what more could a girl want?
#2 - I got back (well better) into my workout groove. For the 2nd week in a row, I have only lost 1 lb each week but I will take it! I am no 19 lbs away from my first major milestone - getting back UNDER 300lb. Thank you God!
#3 - I am trying to stress less about this custody situation. Even though I have to begrudgingly spend my Thanksgiving in NYC, I am going to make the best of it. All I can do now is hope the judge sees how utterly useless and unfit to parent Liam's "father" is
#4 - I am going to rearrange and revamp my budget (again) and get tigther reign on my expenses and spending.
#5 - I am going to focus and schedule my time better with Liam. He deserves my <3 and attention and I owe him at least that much. Now that he is 2 y.o. We are going full force into Spanish, ABCs, #s and potty traning (revisited). I am pledging to spend an hr per day (not all in 1 block) towards his over development and of course look into gettin him into activities this winter time :)
I am just taking a step back, looking at my life and making the changes I see fit. My life HAS marginally improved since I moved outta NYC and that WAS the goal. Helathier, Happier and out of debt. I am slowly making it towards that EVERY day. I thank God for that. I have met some awesome people in the blog world and via Youtube on my weight loss journey. I am excited as to where this blog is taking me and where my life is headed as well.
Until again
Cicely
The Single Momtrepeneur :)
#1 - Job #2 has GOT TO GO. When I started there I had a specific goal in mind, but now that I have some financial help (in loan form), I am able to fulfill a debt that had a deadline swiftly approaching. I have my 2nd interview with MAC and will be freelancing for Smashbox in addition to my primary library job...what more could a girl want?
#2 - I got back (well better) into my workout groove. For the 2nd week in a row, I have only lost 1 lb each week but I will take it! I am no 19 lbs away from my first major milestone - getting back UNDER 300lb. Thank you God!
#3 - I am trying to stress less about this custody situation. Even though I have to begrudgingly spend my Thanksgiving in NYC, I am going to make the best of it. All I can do now is hope the judge sees how utterly useless and unfit to parent Liam's "father" is
#4 - I am going to rearrange and revamp my budget (again) and get tigther reign on my expenses and spending.
#5 - I am going to focus and schedule my time better with Liam. He deserves my <3 and attention and I owe him at least that much. Now that he is 2 y.o. We are going full force into Spanish, ABCs, #s and potty traning (revisited). I am pledging to spend an hr per day (not all in 1 block) towards his over development and of course look into gettin him into activities this winter time :)
I am just taking a step back, looking at my life and making the changes I see fit. My life HAS marginally improved since I moved outta NYC and that WAS the goal. Helathier, Happier and out of debt. I am slowly making it towards that EVERY day. I thank God for that. I have met some awesome people in the blog world and via Youtube on my weight loss journey. I am excited as to where this blog is taking me and where my life is headed as well.
Until again
Cicely
The Single Momtrepeneur :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)