Saturday Thoughts and Such

While I sit here blogging to update you guys, wtf I really should be doing is my Nutrition homework and studying for my Physio and Microbio exams coming up next week...But nope, here I am blogging away. Liam completed his first week of preschool and did pretty well. I am very proud of him :).

I should begin my apartment hunt next week as Poopie and I embark on finding out own little cozy place to call home, if only temporarily. Liam's THIRD birthday is in about 30 something days and I'm of the mind to just plan a small family orchard outing and let him run wild in a pumpkin patch...that's about as country as it gets and I love the sound of that :).

We also have to get some pictures done. Just Liam and then just us :).

I have royally sucked at weight loss this week. That TOM did come around, but still ain't no damn excuse for my lacking and slacking!!!! I have to do better. I'm trying to be 30 lbs lighter by New Year's Eve. Not happening if I continue at this rate. I really need to get the eating under control.

*sigh* Things in the "love" department are still as vacant and boring as usual. I'm not really "focused" on that, but as this cold weather is approaching and as I continue to lose weight and of course get a boosted ego lol, I can't help but notice that void a little more. Oh well. I have Liam, homework and the gym to keep me on my Ps and Qs.

Only 4 nursing schools I'm applying to: Univ of Cincy, EKU, NYU and Columbia.

Let me get off here and go get my life together by at least looking at this homework again! lol :)

me in the car yesterday. Yesss gaaawd I thought I was REALLY doing something hahaha ;) 

September

Today my little Poopie started preschool. He'll only be going PT for the first couple of weeks, but then mid-September, he will be a FT preschool man. I just can't believe how fast he is growing and how quickly things in life change. I remember feeling him move in my tummy for the first time and then meeting him face to face, all the amazing moments of our first year together culminated by his first birthday. Then, after that everything seemed to fly by. He hit 2, he kept growing bigger, we are working on potty training and NOW: Preschool.

I am happy to say even though he has a moderate speech delay, he improves steadily every day and becomes more and more clear. At the school, they director and teachers are willing to work with Liam to help him improve especially until we can get him into the speech therapy he needs. I'm glad to have found a place that places so much value in individual learning and has an alternative outlook on education and how it should be. This school felt like home from the first visit.

Fall semester is underway. My first tests are coming up next week. I honestly love Microbiology (let's hope I continue to feel that way lol), Nutrition isn't, but I think Physiology is going to give me the most trouble. But I'm going to bust my ass for real. I don't want anymore Cs. On a random note, the gym at EKU is awesome! Everything is nice and clean and new! I'm totally under paying for a mere $17/semester. I wish I had used it in the Summer! :) But now every Tuesday I plan to spend at least an hour in that gym making this fat cry lol.

Columbia University ETP will be my first application and it's due mid-October. I don't have much time to get everything together, so I must begin to be diligent about it today!

I have a photo shoot coming up in a week and a half finally do something I haven't done in my port yet. I'm just hoping it turns out well  :).

I will be posting a WLJ vid sometime this week, hopefully I will have some weight loss to report. My next mini goal is to hi the -54 lbs mark. That will be exactly half way! I'd like to reach that by Oct 1! I've got to be on my grind you guys!

Until next time,
Cicely

Introducing Jack - my Godson and New Lovey :)

My new baby love Jackson (b. August 24, 2012) - Jack is my name for him and so he shall b referred to on this blog. Him and his handsome gray eyes...*sigh* looks just like me hahaha :)

Eeek! I'm the most happiest Godmother ever :) lol

Style Post: Soul Glo :)

Living my life like it's golden, organge, brown, wavy, kinky, curly, plus size and full of love :). 

Style Post: Prints, Red Lips and Hips

I fell in love with this little gem from Target's Xhilaration plus line :). It was about $28 and I can't wait to wear her out for a night on the town. I just had to do a style post because it's rare that I look this cute on a given day. Forgive the crazy looking eyes and poor photo quality. These were taken by my mom (thanks Mom :)) and they quality is just ok. Most importantly I got to showcase the 'fit. Between running back and forth from class to work and then chasing after Liam, this Mama rarely feels the need/has the energy to dress extra cute and fashionable! :)

Wedges: Nine West

Purse: thrifted 

Accessories: bracelet and gold ring -Lane Bryant

lipstick - Maybelline Very Cherry and Red lip liner

Updates on Life

I have so not been in the mood to blog or really do much else lately. Class has begun again, my work schedule has changed a little bit to accommodate those changes and Liam will begin preschool the first week of September.

Here's a peek at my schedule:

Mon - gym 11:30a-12:30, work 1-8:30pm
Tues - class 10am-1:20pm, (will eat lunch and go to the school wellness center in between time) 6-8:45pm
Wed- gym 11:30a-12:30, work 1-8:30pm
Thrs- work 2- 8:30pm
Fri- homework/study/freelance work/time with Liam
Sat- homework/study/freelance work/time with Liam
Sun- chuch/homework/study/freelance work/ time with Liam

My weight is still holding steady. I have been REALLY stressed lately and my stagnant weight and face breaking out are the tell tale signs of that. Trial begins in 2 days and I'm just so ready to get it over with and move on with our lives.

In great news my godson Jackson was born 8/24/2012 and he is perfect! :) He's so handsome. I love him already. Also, Liam and I will probably be in our OWN PLACE by this time next month. I cannot wait. What's going on with you guys? How is everything?

Be blessed and write a more complete entry soon!

Cicely

Cicely WLJ Almost a Year!

When Does it End?

photo courtesy of : mothersonmission.blogspot.com

I have been in some type of funk. Starting in the middle of this week and continuing on to today...I just get down some days. I didn't get to run my race for a few reasons, but mostly because I was not physically nor mentally prepared. There are those days where I wonder why I'm not further than where I am today. Like wtf am I doing/or not doing that I can't reach where I want to be?

Why do I feel bad for wanting to reach my dreams AND be a mom? Why does it always seem I might have to choose between the two?! I can't seem to figure out something that works for US. Me and Liam. Our 2 person family. Why do I suck at life sometimes? How can I make this boy's life better? How do I become a better person and a better mom? Am I doing any damn thing right?! WOW!

I'm not losing weight although I do know why and someone who I thought would remain in the past has popped up again. Trial  is coming up. Class starts in a little over a week and I'm emotionally drained. I have worked 6 days a week for the past three weeks straight. My car still needs to be fixed - new engine (well another working one). Bills, bills, bills. Preschool, speech therapy.  Jesus take the wheel.

I'm so tired my life seeming like it is going to pass me the hell by. I have a fear that I will wake up and be 40 years old and nothing will be better than it is right now. I could NOT live like that. I can't keep being dependent on my parents. :(

I'm really sorry that I had to rant and leave so much negativity today, but I had to put it out there because internalizing it has me about to explode. I have to find a way to make everything work...I have to.

I'm not meant to be here. I'm not meant to be doing this...

Mama the Model :) Shoot Preview

You guys know how much I LOVE shooting. Besides writing and spending time with Liam and a few other things, it truly breathes life into these lungs o' mine! I had 2 shoots this week working with great photogs and so far the shoot from Sunday has turned out amazing! :) Here is a sneak peek of a couple of shots. As my fashion industry friends know sometimes you can take what seems like millions of shots to get the "one". From each shoot I plan to only pick about 3-4 pictures and only put 1 or 2 from each in my online portfolio on modelmayhem and my actual "book" for when I FINALLY submit to agencies and am able to go on go-sees. Currently I am a size 20. Last time I shot in January I was still in 22s...size 16 here I come baby!!!!

Without further ado:

preview from shoot on Tuesday ;)

Still Around!

Hey everyone!
Life has been work, work, work and more work. I started the basics of my application to Pace University's CDP program and am trying to get my life together and study for the GRE that I plan to take mid-September. I've packed in more hours with Benefit this month and next and am definitely happy working for them although I have been so tired lately.

Liam is doing great! He is no longer in toddler sizes anymore but now officially wears a Boys size 4! :) I can't believe how big he is getting! It blows my mind. He will be 3 in about 8/9 weeks and I'm still trying to figure out what we're going to do for the big day. He will also be starting preschool the Wednesday after labor day! My baby is almost grown.

As for me: My Midsummer Night's Run 5k is this Saturday at 8:30pm - I need to pick up my packet this week AND get new shoes. I'm still stagnant with the weight loss but it is all because of me! I've got to break this plateau or be stuck here forever. I had a photo shoot Sunday and it turned out great, I have another one tomorrow and can't wait for the results of that one! I don't have to mention how dismal the dating situation is...y'all already know!

With court, it looks like trial is inevitable, so I am getting things together for that. Smh...

Otherwise nothing else is really going on. Class starts back in 2 weeks from today and I'm ready to tackle the challenges I know this semester will pose for me!

Until again,
Cicely