Getting it Together

A special salute to all the veterans who served this country and gave life and limb to protect their families and future generations of Americans and also the current men and women who serve and protect or nation's welfare. Hugs and love to all of you.

rando picture of me at work the other day lol

So I'm officially in Nursing school...NOW WHAT?

First things first I have to gather all my records of immunization and make sure I'm fully vaccinated before I can register for NUR 114. I'm only missing my Varicella (chickenpox) and then I can register. Then, I will need a stethoscope, burgundy scrubs and white shoes to complete my Nursing ensemble and an overcoat to complete my new Nurse student look. I will have to pay for my background check and then buy my dosage calculation book to get ready to take my first Dosage calc test the 2nd week of January.

Some things to think about:

Work is going to have to go down to NO MORE than 24 hrs a week. I will be in class 4 days a week; 2 of those days will be full EIGHT hour days. No games are to be played. I can't afford to get Cs or fail out at this point. Not.an.option.

I'm hoping I will qualify again for a childcare subsidy. I can't even afford to pay the $460 a month I pay now....no WAY that can happen with me barely working.

I will need to be looking into local Autism resources to try and get some more support/medical help for Liam.

I have REALLY got to tighten up the reigns and get my finances together...

*sigh* Sometimes being an adult blows lol. I'm very happy and super thankful for all I have been given, but sometimes I really get so tired of the back and forth and the ebb and flow...but I know it will pay off. I have to keep my eyes on the finish line and appreciate the process.

Until again,
Cicely

Cicely Plus Model Takes Seattle!

This year has been a roller coaster to say the least! With just my personal life and family life it was enough. I honestly wasn't 100% sure if I would continue to model anymore, my weight has gotten a bit out of hand, but despite all these things I FINALLY feel (like we all have those moments) that things/my life/my careers/my dreams are coming together. Like this is the beginning of the things I have been waiting for...

I wrote a while back about a collaboration between me and Liesl Binx for her Fall/Winter '13 collection. We "met" on Twitter, began communicating, graduated to Facebook, Instagram and the phone and now I'm here in Seattle and we have shot the first set for her line!!!! I met her amazing immediate family consisting of her mom, stepdad and awesome/gorgeous sister! I felt so welcome the entire time. This was truly a match made in fashion heaven.  It still seems like it's not happening lol. Here are some sneak peaks:

I will do another more complete post later,but this is what I have on hand for today! :)

Acceptance Letter

It's official...I'm accepted into the Nursing program at EKU! I was on edge for the past couple of weeks...I wasn't sure I would get in! I thought the 2 Cs in Anatomy and Physio would have done me in, but there IS a God and by some unknown miracle. I'm IN!

I have orientation January 8 and classes start the next week. I'll be taking Nursing 114. I'm sooo excited! Now I have to get all my immunization records together, pay for a background check, pay for liability insurance, buy wine colored scrubs and get my stethoscope! :) Finally, all this hard work I've been putting in since May 2012 is paying off. On this track I will  finish school December 2015 and be awarded my Associate Degree in Nursing. From there, the plan is still to go to grad school and become a Nurse Practitioner.

"When It All,it all Falls Down"

When it rains it certainly pours. I know that when things are bad they won't be bad forever. Let's get the negative news out of the way first:

1) Stemming from Dad's toe amputation 2 weeks ago an infection developed. When he went to doc to check in on said infection it turned out to be MDRO (multi drug resistant organism) called ecinobacter and he was kept. Next day turns out on top of Diabates,peripheral vascular disease, Dad also had clogged arteries in the heart. Yesterday afternoon open heart surgery was performed. He is currently in Cardiac ICU and doing well....the road to recovery will be a long one

2) I went from a low A to a D in one of my online classes because my simple ass forgot to take the midterm! I honestly thought I had more time than I actually did. Professor said NO to late midterms...FML! Now I have to bust my ass JUST to get a B.

3) I have now gained a total of 26 lb and I'm fed up! I've got to start TODAY getting my life and WLJ back on track. I feel like I'm losing control! :/

Now on to some good things:

1) Liam turned 4 Oct 16! Despite Dad being in the hospital he had a great day.

2) I booked my flight to Sea-Tac aka Seattle Washington! I will be shooting with Liesl Binx for the debut of her Fall line. I'm so fortunate and blessed for this opportunity.

3) I'm working more hours = more $

4) This semester is ALMOST over

5) I completed a boudoir shoot 3 weeks ago and the results are awesome!

Don't feel bad for me guys, just please keep Dad in your thoughts and prayers and send some light our way! Thanks so much.

Until again
Cicely

In the Trenches

http://rebloggy.com/post/depression-depression-quotes/31751357155

I have really been through the emotional ringer lately. There has been so much and I do mean sooooo much going on in my life. I finally complete all the diagnostic testing for Autism for Liam. I'm about 80% sure the results will come back that he is on the Autistic spectrum and that is not what even bothers me. What stresses me out is the fact that I can't be around enough to provide him a stable routine that would be ideal for a kid dealing with as much as he is. My work hours are all over the place and almost every time they call me into work...I go not because I want to, but because I know I need the money.This involves working 2nd shift, 3 shift and 12 hour days sometimes. It involved being so exhausted that all I want to do is sleep. It involves feeling like shit emotionally and physically due to the schedule wreaking havoc on my body and the fact that I'm away from my child so much.

Then, comes the frustrations of working all the time and still never really having money. My car needs breaks, Since August I have been paying 4x the price because I "make too much $" to qualify for child care assistance. My rent has also gone up and I honestly feel like I am only making enough to keep simply my nose out of the water to make a few labored breaths. How can someone with a 4 yr college degree and a year of college credits after possibly be THIS broke? It is depressing and so, so frustrating. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

Modeling - I have a pending trip to Seattle that I don't even know HOW I'm going to make happen. I looked at this trip as an opportunity to finally take my modeling career up a notch, but I see that dream blowing away in the wind as I type.

Health - I've now gained bout 25 lbs of the weight I lost! I am sickened and saddened by it. I feel like crap and my release has been to stuff my face with food (picture of health I know). I am just so disappointed in myself. Starting tomorrow I have to go back to the gym. My schedule is so sporadic that I honestly plan to go to the gym and sometimes can't because when I work in the day I have to get Liam to school and pick him up from daycare.I have to, have to get some stability in my life or I'm going to see the same # on the scale where I started 2 years ago. I can't let that happen to me again.

I do feel better addressing these issues and fleshing them out on paper (well on screen). But I am just feeling a little helpless right now and that's a feeling that in not welcome for me.I am trying to be positive because Iknow things will get better, but if it doesn't happen soon. I'm not sure how much more I have left (not suicidal, but it is possible I will have to deal with some depression)

Fall - 3rd Year Blogversary

http://www.brainleadersandlearners.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/celebrate.gif

I'm sooo terrible with blogging these days and for that I apologize. I seem to have the lack of "ganas" (desire) to do so and when I have coveted extra time, I usually doing homework, spending time with Liam or simply trying to gain some extra sleep. This month marks my 3rd year as a blogger! I can't believe the evolutions both this blog and my life have had since 2010. I am overall in a much better place and am raising a child who will soon be 4 years old!!! Where does time go?

I wrapped up an amazing shoot with Photography and Design by Lauren 3 weeks ago in August and you can see the newest additions to my modeling portfolio here: Cicely Carter Official Modeling Page or here Cicely Plus Model Facebook . I'm so proud of my work and how my portfolio has grown.

Liam is doing well in preschool and speech therapy. We are having him tested for Autism and honestly what I care about is that we get a diagnosis and can get him the help he needs to continue the thrive and excel in school and life.

Dating - y'all already know that story! lol

School - I applied for the Nursing program at EKU and am awaiting that response. I am applying to one other school and hoping and praying that I get in somewhere for the Spring semester for clinicals.

Work - I'm still at the hospital doing registration PRN and picking up all the hours I can. I have applied for numerous Nurse Aide/Tech positions specifically for overnights so that I can work 3 12 hour days and spend more time with Liam. Jesus be a FT overnight position with benefits so I can finally gain some financial stability in my life.

So sorry for the delay, but I'm back and trying to get back to regular and meaningful blog programming :).

Until again,
Cicely

Cicely Plus Model - August 2013 Preview Pics

Check these out from my photo shoot August 31. Shot by the oh so talented Lauren Morris of Photography and Design by Lauren. 

Caged

http://wantcy.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/lets-run-away.jpg

I know I have spoken on this throughout my blog, but at heart I am a wanderer, an adventurer and I like to be in new places doing new things. My ideal life would be working in a place and then moving when I got tired/fulfilled my purpose there. That to me is perfection. Being a single parent and having a child thrown in the mix makes it super difficult to accomplish that.

 I have lived back in Kentucky for a little over 2 years now and I've felt trapped for the past year or so. I NEED to move, I need a fresh view and fresh air. Honestly, if it wasn't for Liam I would probably have never made it back to these parts.So I need to plan a trip. I'm thinking Europe because a friend of mine will be living in England getting her master's and I can visit more than one country at a time easily. What do you think? If you could go anywhere where would you go?

I need some new scenery in my life...

Until again
Cicely

This Heart O' Mine

Photo courtesy of :https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSIAOw7NFsXOnlHiyeFyNcw7X1pTYmsPvgZDF0YMz8hWFokLVJI

I have been doing so much introspection these days. Life has a way of making you think and think and think. I have been in deep thought about so many aspects of my life. Most recently, some things have come into focus about my love life and the future of.

What I have learned about this heart o' mine:

1) It's guarded. - This should be obvious, but I didn't realize it so much until lately. I'm bitchy, I'm hard on people and I don't take (what I perceive to be) bullshit. I feel like I have had to deal with so much dishonesty and lies from my past relationships, that I have to be a hard ass.

2) It's big. On the other hand I love deeply. I love fully and if it's anything but a relationship I almost love unconditionally. This love extends to my closest friends, my family, of course Liam and to some of my kids from my library job. I love people. I am an extrovert and I just love giving love.

3) It's determined. I don't want to settle for just anyone. I know and understand the quality of man that I want and I'm REALLY trying to keep hope alive that he's out there...somewhere looking for me too.

Those are just some of the things that have been rolling around in my head lately. Sorry it has taken me so long to write again. Be on the lookout for more entries this week.

Until again,
Cicely

Style, Hair and Catching up

 out on a Summer night

 style post accessories

 style post whole outfit

Outfit of the night- date night Aug 11, 2013

NEW - Rue 107 + Retro Pop Drss ;)

 new do' - straight hair dont care and ends trimmed to the gawds lol Aug 9, 2013

This has been a short round up of my doings since my last entry! I promise to write more soon. Class will be starting next week for me and for Liam! ? :)

Adios,

Cicely