It has been almost 2 months since my last entry and I'm truly sorry about that. I have had some huge ups and some downs as well mixed in. But guess what I'm still here and surviving!!! Sometimes, barely but I'm here. So let's talk about the bad (and I will include a second post to follow)
Motherhood - We have finally figured out the groove and details and Liam will now be attending the county Headstart until the end of the year (end of May), receiving speech therapy and will start full force in September 2013 in the 3 year old class. Remember his October birthday does NOT meet the cutoff here. But I have no issue with that as long as he gets the services that he needs.
The education team (psychologists, speech therapist, occupational therapist and director of the Headstart) have raised concerns that Liam may have an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I'm not 100% sure what to think. They will be conducting more in depth studies/observations of him, but I am honestly scared. I dont know what to think. When looking at some of the symptoms, he does seem to fit the bill for Autism Spectrum Disorders...I just don't want to label him before I know anything. Even if the diagnosis ends up being right, I dont ever want to label him. So I'm just waiting to see where and how to proceed from here.
It just makes me sad, like maybe there is something more I could have done, but we will make it through this and become a stronger family because of it. It still makes me tear up even now writing this. I got the news about a week ago and it is still sinking in. I think the worst part is that even though my parents are supportive, they don't really know how I feel and all these important, life changing decisions are in no one's hands but my own. The fate of this kid's life in in MY hands. It is up to me to ensure that I make the best of whatever life throws at us and that he is resilient and comes out of his childhood virtually unscathed. Frankly, I'm scared, scared as hell. I really don't want to mess this up like so many other things I have in my life. No matter what, I always want to do what is best for my son. He deserves the best and I'm doing all I can now to make sure that happens.
School - I'm still on the verge on crashing and burning, but there are still 5-6 weeks left in this semester and there is a possibility I can pull of 1 B and 2 Cs. Sad when I settle for that, but hell it is what it is. I am almost done with the online Certified Nursing Assistant class and am hoping to take my state test by mid-May (or right after classes finish). Then the job hunt begins for an overnight CNA position in a hospital. *sigh* So that means that my library job will have to go.
Sorry to give you guys such a brief run through, but I felt like I was keeping you guys out of the loop. I've had a rough time, but guess what I'm prevailing and I'm going to keep fighting my way to my goals and through the rest of this thing called life. As always thanks for reading and thanks for continuing to support me on my journey.
~Cicely
It just makes me sad, like maybe there is something more I could have done, but we will make it through this and become a stronger family because of it. It still makes me tear up even now writing this. I got the news about a week ago and it is still sinking in. I think the worst part is that even though my parents are supportive, they don't really know how I feel and all these important, life changing decisions are in no one's hands but my own. The fate of this kid's life in in MY hands. It is up to me to ensure that I make the best of whatever life throws at us and that he is resilient and comes out of his childhood virtually unscathed. Frankly, I'm scared, scared as hell. I really don't want to mess this up like so many other things I have in my life. No matter what, I always want to do what is best for my son. He deserves the best and I'm doing all I can now to make sure that happens.
School - I'm still on the verge on crashing and burning, but there are still 5-6 weeks left in this semester and there is a possibility I can pull of 1 B and 2 Cs. Sad when I settle for that, but hell it is what it is. I am almost done with the online Certified Nursing Assistant class and am hoping to take my state test by mid-May (or right after classes finish). Then the job hunt begins for an overnight CNA position in a hospital. *sigh* So that means that my library job will have to go.
Sorry to give you guys such a brief run through, but I felt like I was keeping you guys out of the loop. I've had a rough time, but guess what I'm prevailing and I'm going to keep fighting my way to my goals and through the rest of this thing called life. As always thanks for reading and thanks for continuing to support me on my journey.
~Cicely
Hi Cicely. Just hopped over and wanted to say to stay strong! Anyway, wanted to let you know that tomorrow I'm hosting a Stella and Dot giveaway. Hope you'll stop by and join in!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sarah :). Appreciate the feedback! I missed the contest, but will be sure to swing by your blog :)
DeleteCicely... I'm sending you one big, tight e-hug! This is not easy, and it's not supposed to be easy. But, stay strong. I can't imagine how frustrating and helpless it may feel with Liam's situation, but as soon as you know what's going on (like, really KNOW), you'll be able to get him the services that he needs. He's such a sweet, lovely, and smart boy, and will thrive whether he is "labeled" or not. You'll both get through this.
ReplyDeleteTough times don't last; tough people do. Endure!
Aww Alicia. Stop it! I'm not gonna cry today lol nope! Thanks so much. Things have gotten a little better since this post so I'm happy about that. Staying strong is my only option and thanks for the support :).
Delete