Saturday, March 31, 2012

The Visit -Destroying a Toddler's Life Near You

Ok so that was a slight hyperbole, but I'm really f**ked up about Poopie's visit now. The past couple of nights I have had trouble staying asleep. Yesterday I stuffed my face when I was supposed to be doing a cleanse and I can NOT stop thinking about it. I just think it will be so detrimental to him under the circumstances it is happening. Just 'cuz I don't feel like back linking (yeah, yeah I'm lazy I know). A brief summary of the current absentee father: he has not called, spoken to or seen Liam since Thanksgiving and that was only an overnight visit. He has not even made an attempt at contact with him and this visit is supposed to last a week. I don't even know how to tell Liam about this visit. He doesn't recognize his father as "dad", I just feel so helpless. I might fall all the way the hell apart behind this!

I just can't fathom what court in the U.S.of A would do that to a child? He is 2.5 years old and you are forcing him to spend time with people he hasn't seen or heard from in 5 months....I can't stand it. I'm torn up. I may not eat for the entire week. The only upside to that is I might lose some weight, but I digress. I know that when we go to pick up Liam, his separation anxiety issues will be worse than they were last time. He is very particular and sensitive to people leaving him. To make matters worse.We have to meet with the evaluator from court in the middle of the week pick up Liam to do so. It's gonna destroy me again knowing I can't keep him with me and he has to return to them. 

Some people may read this and think I am selfish and trying to keep his other family away. Those who know me and this situation know that it is NOT the case. I don't want my son around anyone who is going to treat him second rate. My son deserves love, attention and appreciation in all forms. These people are not equipped to give my son what he needs at all. On top of everything else, his father owes us $1500 in child support arrears. This trip is going to cost me a total of about $1000 (gas, place to stay, metrocard and food), I had to use my tax return money and work EVERY weekend in March to be able to afford this and I'm still going to be broke.When we get home after the trip, I will barely have enough money for gas to last me til my next pay day. I just can't understand how someone could be so selfish and irresponsible and play with my son. My son's life and wellbeing are not games. He is a person, a human, a little boy. He is my son.

I really can't even type about this right now. This is one of my worst nightmare's come true and there is nothing I can do to get out of it! I'm going to have to do a LOT of praying on this one.

Any advice? What would you do.....?

Nini in Purple -Mama the MUA at work

A friend stopped by yesterday while I was in Sephora. Here's her "beating" :)

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Self LOVE!

I had to write this post just to say I love myself! It is so easy to get caught up being a mom, friend, sister, daughter and all the other roles that must be played daily to remember that you are a WOMAN sometimes. Things I hated about my body 10 years ago, I now appreciate and embrace. I am confident, I know my self worth and hell, if I could marry me, I probably would hahaha (just kidding).

I am not perfect and I don't want to be, but my imperfections work for me and not against me!

It's not just the new clothes, having my hair done, new shoes, there is something internal in my that has been reignited. That same passion for life I once had as a teen and in my earliest twenties has returned and is now better than ever.

I am a mother to a beautiful toddler who I love more than anything!
I LOVE to blog. I express myself and my passions almost daily and people actually care about it! lol :)
I love my jobs. - All 10,000 of them hahaha
I love who I am becoming in my life and in myself.
I am comfortable with my imperfections and live to improve daily.
I am a being capable of loving and deserving of love unconditional.
I am assertive and strong.
I am taking what I want and kicking ass.
I am physically strong. My 200 lb + frame does TRX, Yoga, Cycling, I can run miles dammit!!! :)
I demand things from a potential mate and I'm not shy about expressing how I feel.
I am woman, hear me ROAAAAARRRR! ;)

I a Bad Mama Jamma! I'm a bad ass. I'm cool. I'm great! I'm a "curvy goddess"! :)

I am ME. Cicely. Betta act like you know!

Mean in My Blue & Green


view 1

view 2

view 3

3/4 view

last one

Shirt: mom's drawer lol
Pants: mom's closet
shoes: Nine West (sale purchase)

Talbot's Outlet and Goodwill Mini Haul

 this is my first purchase from Asos Curve. The classic black skirt in jersey material and midi length. Makes my gams looks GREAT! I wasn't sure how their sizing was so I ordered a 22 and I now wear a 20. It is enormous in the waist and fitted in the butt and hips but I like it and am gonna get it taken in. 

 the back of  my $11 dress from Talbot's Outlet.There is a deep rectangle cut out! Paired it with my new beige Nine West wedges <3

 this is the front of the dress paired with a coral belt (Talbot's) and white shoes(Baker's)

 front view of the dress plain

paired with tan belt from Talbot's and shoes

amazing skirt I got from the Misses department at Macy's! from their Bar III line :) 

another view. it looks plain here but the material is a very light polyester and very flowy and fem

 OOTD March28, 2012; shirt from the Goodwill, pants from my mom's closet and shoes a previous Nine West purchase

 thrifted from Goodwill. I will be getting the sleeves cut off the shirt and the skirt taken in a little bit,

another Goodwill find. This is a 14/16I'm guessing b/c it had no tag.I'm thinking about having a tailor add color blocking.

Monday, March 26, 2012

The Requisites

Today has been an interesting day, I have been thinking about a lot about my romantic life (not nearly as active as I'd like) and discussing with a couple of friends different aspects of my life. Do I want to get married? Is that REALLY a possibility in my future? If I met the "right"guy, would I know it and how would I react?

I'm going to layout the things I want/require in a man. If he exists/existed, this is what he would be like: (not in order)

1) intelligent (I prefer some college education - at least a year- and beyond)
2) charming (romantic,a good flirt)
3) health conscious (works out, eats healthy most of the time; I woud like for this to be something we enjoy together and as a family unit w/ Liam)
4) relationship-ready (no baggage, no hangups, ready to love and be loved)
5) prepared to be a father FIGURE (not a replacement father to my son, but someone who is willing to help me raise and mentor him. Help him develop into a good man)
6)  at least 6 years older than me(no more than 20 years my senior though)
7) gainfully employed (I mean he is not still wondering and contemplating where to begin his career. He is already established in his field(s)and seeks only to further educate himself not b/c he just figured out what he wanted to do but b/c he is seeking enrichment)
8) treats me like a Queen and an equal(I want to be respected, cherished, loved, pampered to an extent, yet treated like a partner and not someone beneath him)
9) responsible and serious about the future (this can take on many forms, but I do mean financially stable, retirement/investments, possible property owner) Please just know what a retirement fund is and know the importance of saving $.
10) has some type of religious faith and/or spirituality
11) 2 kids or less (and that's only if they are from the same woman/marriage and even then, it could still be a deal breaker depending on the details of your situation)

So idk...that's just my take on things...What about you guys out there?Do you have the "List"or do you just play it by ear? Let me know :)

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Single Mama vs. Divorced Dad & Single Guy

I have been reading through some new blogs and thinking a lot about the dating process. I have been thinking about my place as a Mom, a woman and a single woman/single mom. One interesting thing that came up is the transition from single and alone mom to single and dating mom. Eventually (years from now) will I become The Married Momtrepeneur? lol I still think that no matter my relationship status I may always on some level operate as a single mom. But THAT is just a random thought.Now on to the meat and potatoes of this post:

I have a couple of like interests (because love is entirely too strong of a word). The DD (divorced dad) is currently the strongest contender. I really like this guy. He is witty, educated, has good conversation, has piercing blue eyes, was previously a photographer whose current job is working on planes. He is the father of 2 biracial children and seems to be a good dad. He is 19 years my senior (turning 43 in April) and claims to be"smitten" with me. His words, not mine. He is a total silver fox and definitely my type. But he is on the end of a divorce and I really don't know where things could or would go. Actually, I will be straight up, the only thing I think that can come out of this is a rebound on his part. It seems to be much easier for men to come out of a divorce and begin actively dating than for a woman. Not that I can even blame him, that is the situation and that's life. I'm 100% sure that a divorce, custody proceedings and the financial strain puts anyone in a bad, needy, emotional space. I understand where he is coming from in that aspect. So what can I do? Keep my guard usual. See where things go but keep my expectations low and my guards high. But no matter what, I know my worth.

Frankly, I am truly tired of having to guard myself against everyone and everything. I am mentally ready for a REAL, strong, healthy, long lasting relationship and have finally (mostly healed) from the debacle that was 2.5 years of my life with Liam's father. Why is it so hard to find a quality man? I know I have a lot to offer the right person. I know with the right person by my side, I can continue to develop and flourish as a woman/person. I know that I can be a great girlfriend/significant other/wife. Thus far, I have not been in the right relationship with the right man to let my true, giving self shine through. 

Let's move on to the second guy, SG (single guy). He is a very nice guy.I feel like he is the type of person that has truly learned from his past negative experiences.We have talked about lots of deep things and have really gotten to know each other pretty well.He is not the best looking guy but he makes up for that by being a seemingly good person. He seems mature, wants to one day be married or at least in a serious, long term relationships. He currently has no kids, but would like to in the future (yeah I'm still on the fence about the another kid thing, just not sure if it is my cup of tea. It would have to be at least 7-10 years from now) Problem is I like him, but I'm not into him.I don't like him like THAT. The other problem is that he is into ME like that and I really don't know what to do. He is a sensitive guy and I think that me telling him that things won't work out between us won't go so well. I would like to still talk to him occasionally, just not romantically maybe. The way I feel about it is that he may think I am leading him on, which I honestly didn't intend to do. I do like him and have told him that, but I never said I was ready to jump into a relationship with him. Especially because this relationship would be long distance. I just don't have the same type of feelings I think that he has for me and I'm not sure how that is going to work out. How the hell do I get myself into these situations? *sigh* 

Cicely WLJ Week 31

"Heavy",Good News

Ok so that was admittedly a terribly joke...but I did chuckle to myself lol. Don't judge me! ;) I weighed in yesterday at 293, this morning I weighed in at 291.4....needless to say I am going with 291.4 as my final weight haha! If I go by that number, I have lost 1.6 lbs since last week. I'm proud of myself and this week have some very specific goals to accomplish. I am a little under 2 weeks until I head to NYC for "The Visit" - yeah sounds like a horror movie lol. I have two dates lined up, a host of friends to see and of course the visit to the psychologist with Liam to get this court stuff finished.

My personal WLJ goal was to be 285 by the time I get back to NYC April 6. Idk how that is going to go but I'm really going to try for that goal.

Here's what my week is looking like in terms of fitness:

Mon - Get Fit Club
Tues - TRX
Wed - GFC
Fri - TRX

So I know I am at least working out 4x this week. Then I decided to reduce my caloric intake again and go down to 1660. That means I will have to get more creative about the way I choose what I'm eating and of course need to stay on top of my water intake. I'm so very happy with finally breaking 293!

Another small triumph I had was being able to buy from the Misses department in Macy's. I'm sure that I'm a solid size 20 (bottoms) now and an 18/20 in tops. On a whim, I tried on this beautiful color blocked skirt from the Bar III line at Macy's and fell in love. They day I wear it, I will do an outfit of the day post. I also copped this HOT jersey midi skirt from ASOS Curve and again I'm in love. It is a body-con type of fit and it makes my curves look GOOD :). I need some accessories and cute blouses to pair with these two pieces and I'm date night ready.

I'm also thinking about changing my weigh-in day one last time to Sundays. That is the true beginning of the week and seems to make more sense. I might actually be able to stay on top of my video making for my WLJ if I do that ;).

Friday, March 23, 2012

Nursing +Fitness = Certified Fitness Nurse

From the beginning when I became interested in Nursing school, I knew where my areas of interests would be: Bariatric surgery, plastic surgery and/or nutrition. I may have found a way to combine my love of helping people, my new enthusiasm for fitness and my soon to be new career in Nursing.

I can become a R.N. AND a personal trainer. This will be at least 1-2 years down the line b/c a) i need to get to my goal weight b) i need to become ACE certified and c) I need to become an RN. The idea of this truly makes me happy. I realize I will be working for the rest of my life haha! Not because of money issues, but because working and being engaged with people truly makes me happy. I can still advance to becoming a NP and that will give me even MORE opportunities in my career.

This is so exciting. A year ago, I never would have imagined me concocting all these things. Now, I see things much clearly. I can still work for myself, work PT in a couple of other settings, but have the flexibility I see to vacation and spend time with Liam! :) Wow! :) So I know that in some realms of Nursing there are job shortages, but for someone like me, no matter what job I'm doing I always find a way for it to work for me.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Being a Single Mom is...F**king Awesome!

It has taken me close to three years to get to this point, but I love the life that me and my little man have. It is truly amazing. Yes, I am broke and sometimes struggling, but there is no shortage of love and adventure in my life. Liam has showed me so many wonderful things has truly turned my life for the better. He truly is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

When I started blogging, I found an amazing network of single parents like myself. All of our stories are unique, our circumstances different,but we all share the common bond of raising kids sola/o. I was so caught up with being a negative statistic at the beginning of my journey. I was filled with hurt, shame and blame for the fact that I was not "capable" of raising my son in a two parent home. I no longer feel that way. I am a statistic. One of a young mother who is educated BEYOND high school (soon to hold 2 degrees and some certifications if I have it my way), who has many talents, who is invested in her child's future and who happens to be of color.

That is amazing! There are many young men and women out there doing this and more for their kids. I'm so happy to be included in that group. I feel empowered knowing that my role in life is as a woman, mom, motivator, mentor, friend, sister, daughter, entrepeneur and the other endless possibilities I can come up with.I embrace single motherhood and wouldn't change anything about my circumstances.

Hell, I think I'm going to make a shirt about it! :)

How do you feel about single moms? Were you raised in a single parent household? Leave me your thoughts! :)

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

MISS NYC PLUS PAGEANT- Cicely Plus Model 2008 :)

check me out 0:51 lol

Misadventures of

Haha! So yeah I went there. I tried and I'm not quite sure it lived up to my expectations. I became an inactive member of the site a while back. I began to really use it this past December. I realized I want to be in a relationship and I am at the point in my life where I am emotionally ready to be in one. What should go without being said is that my dating life will never take precedence over motherhood nor my gym time lol. So I made a medium sized blurb trying to sum myself up in a few hundred words and to try to attract the type of men I am attracted to. I've gotten some response, but it's not all what I have been looking for.I do have some specific preferences when choosing a potential mate. I honestly am not trying to be overly picky, but I AM allowed to have standards:

gainfully employed
some college work completed
0-2 kids (only 2 if previously married and they are by the same mother)
no drug/alcohol abuse
truly a good person
great communicator
seeks opportunity for betterment in different aspects of his life
dare I say good looking? - I'm no Shallow Hal but looks are important
nice teeth
takes health seriously (workouts regularly)
older than me by at least 5 years (29-45 range)
mature and responsible
religious and/or spiritual
White,Middle Easter or Latino (a strong preference to white)
would prefer them to be 5'8 and up

Here's what I've discovered thus far:

1) black guys who completely ignore in my profile that I am down with the swirl. lol Not that I won't date another black guy, but I REALLY prefer not to. I've been there done that and my experiences dating white men have been better,

2) the guy whose ultimate goal is to sleep with you. Like I talked to this guy on the phone 2x and he was ALREADY talking about "if he got tipsy", me inviting him to my hotel room.#booandbye #you'redone! How presumptuous can you be? Not only is that a turn pisses me off. But as my dad says "better to be pissed off, than pissed on" lol He won't ever get face time with me!

3) the divorcee. the guy who has a crazy, sarcastic sense of humor that cracks you up, good looks (total silver fox) and piercing blue eyes....yeah but he's divorcing. like literally in the middle of one. So you know he is not emotionally available and is about having fun and living his life. So although, he fits the bill for most of the things you look for in a man, he is not mate potential right now. You know that you two can have fun together, but unfortunately for us both I am seeking something more than carnal delight

4) the nice guy. he's a pretty decent guy. Works, has some college, no kids. He's not doing bad for himself. and although you are are attracted to his personality and you speak on a regular basis, you are not sure where things can go/if they can go anywhere. While he does have strong points, he lives with his parents (in a 2 br apartment, but he's in his late 30s). You want someone doing better than you. He also decided to go back to college and get his degree NOW. That means his earning potential is delayed until at least another 4-6 years. also, you don't know if you really do want anymore kids *shrugs*

*le sigh* the trials of dating!

Have any of you tried online dating? How did it work out?

Sunday, March 18, 2012

March 19 - 11 Day Body Transformation Begins

Well the moment has arrived. Time to REALLY step things up for my lifestyle change/weight loss journey. The next 11 days I will be sticking to a strict Isagenix plan! It will be the cleanse that I'm supposed to be already doing, but that I am not doing as strictly as I should be.

It will look something like this: (all days at least 20 minutes of light activity is recommended)
Days 1-2 pre-cleanse days (they will be the same as shake days: 1 breakfast shake, 400-600 calorie lunch, 1 shake for dinner. 2 low cal snacks for the day + at least 64 oz of water)
Days 3-4 CLEANSE days. I will be drinking 16 oz of Cleanse for Life per day with an additional 75-100 oz of water and LIGHT snacking (carrots, cucumber slices etc)
Days 5-8 shake days (same as pre-cleanse days)
Days 10-11 final cleanse days

This will carry me to March 30 and I'm hoping to lose about 10 lbs doing it. I will still be working out about 4x a week and I'm ready to REALLY lose this  weight. Summer is swiftly approaching which means less clothes are to be worn lol! :)

Cicely WLJ 7.5 Month Mark- Week 30

Flo Rida - Good Feeling [Official Video] another workout anthem!

Calvin Harris - Feel So Close

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Bad Headspace

I hate days like this when the custody stuff really gets me down. All I keep thinking is that there must be light at the end of the tunnel and I keep praying and believing that one day there will be a positive outcome to this!

As anyone out there going through something similar? I will tell you, this has been the most emotionally draining episode of my life! *sigh*

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

Money Issues- Rearing Its Ugly Head Again!

*big sigh* So I hate it when your money issues get temporarily solved and then BAM! Back to where you were. This trip to NYC is going to DRAIN and DEPLETE my bank account. I have to pay for gas, tolls and now a place to stay for 7 nights because no one I know has space and those that do will be gone for Easter! PERFECT! Oh and did I mention Father of the Year is $1,000+ in arrears? That money would have covered the trip to NYC and then had some left over!

Now I realized I must work ANY and ALL hours Benefit has for me!I need em all. I may even reach out to my old RAM in NY/NJ area to see if she has any hours for that week I'm in the city. With school starting in May, I will have to take out some more loans! I'm not opposed to that as long as I can keep my debt manageable. I know that once I get hired as a nurse, my opportunities for advancement and higher salary will be much better than now.

I will need to pay for the next Get Fit Club session 12 weeks, might be prorated with the week I will be gone),$50 TRX (2 sessions), monthly Y membership. Daycare expenses for the month of April. Gas to and from work, $40 for my A2 testing at EKU in April or May, toiletries, diapers, more spring clothes for Liam, personal styling/clothes buying, my photoshoot with Alicia and team which I think may be the last time I shoot until October!!! My goal was 3 shoots this year and this will make 2.

Uggh! I hate being stressed about this crap! :/

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Fitness Goals This Week

Workout 5x! - I might get 6 in if I'm lucky, but I'm going to try and push myself and get these in!

Friday after work
Saturday - Yoga Meltdown

Lose 1.5-2lbs

Friday and/or Saturday do a fruit and veggie only mini cleanse

My 11 Day Body Transformation mini-challenge (through Isagenix) begins Monday, March 19. I am prepared to lose 5-7 lbs during this. I'm going to be strict and diligent. By the time I hit NYC April 7, I'd like to be in the 280s.

So who's with me?!? :)

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Life Without Ritalin - James W.L. my friend the artist...this is amaze!

My best friend in the whole wide world is an amazing talent! Do yourself a favor and check out the above link to one of the pieces in his collection: Life Without Ritalin

This work took my breath away. He is talented and his work is raw! <3

Monday, March 12, 2012

Down some more lbs!

I WILL post a YT vid ASAP and edit this post to include it but for now...I lost 3.6 lbs as of Saturday March 10 and that puts me @ a total weight loss of 35.6 lbs...WOW! I'm approaching 40lbs! :)

Friday, March 9, 2012

The More I Do, The Less is Done

Let me begin by saying that I know that I was not ready to be a mother at 21, I wasn't even sure if I wanted kids  until I was MUCH older or at all, but when I decided that being a mother was going to be the next step in the journey of my life, I have been trying to dedicate my life and myself to making a wonderful life for Liam.

There always seem to be outside forces looming overhead making sure I know I'm not doing a good enough job with him and frankly, it pisses me off. When someone attacks the way I do things and then later has NO solution for me to do them better, I want to tell them to f**k off. Interestingly enough, these statements are often made outright by my father and oh so subtly by QFC. I'm sick and tired of it.

To start with Dad, "in my opinion you are just not a good mother. u weren't made to be a mother and I wonder why you made that decision"...umm thanks a f**kin' lot...KEY WORDS: in YOUR opinion. Again, I'm not the BEST mother I can be, but I can honestly say I am working on it. Yes I get frustrated, yes I am impatient sometimes, but Jesus! I'm trying to juggle EVERYTHING else and have to hear constant f**king nagging on top of what I have to deal with in court and every other thing in life. It is unbearable sometimes and I really don't know how I keep from exploding. Truly amazing. 

I don't take court serious enough - REALLY?!!?!!?!!?!?!?!? I call/email/text/postal mail my lawyer every week...couldn't get in touch with him the last 2 weeks because he was OUT OF THE COUNTRY. I fax/mail him papers that NEVER get seen in court, hell I don't even know if he reads them. I have to constantly prove to them that I am a good parent. I have to account for everything I do. I have to use MY money to travel with Liam to NYC and NEVER once asked for anyone else's. I am the one who initiated this case, I was trying to be responsible and establish some stability in both of our lives. It turns out to the SECOND biggest mistake of my life. Once I relay information to the lawyer that he has to relay to the judge, if he doesnt do HIS job, there is nothing that I can do! I have no contact information for Liam's crt appointed lawyer, I have no information on how to set up his evaluation and no on seems to have any answers!!! #DONE
So then I'm selfish too. "If I were you, I'd work 3 different jobs to support my son"...oh yeah dumbazz...I do!!!! My job at the library is only 20 hrs a week and I am grabbing ALL the Benefit dates they are giving me and have already booked EVERYTHING Smashbox on the Spring roster. No other jobs in this area that match my skill set are going to pay like the freelance job or even like the library job even with a Bachelor's degree! So wtf am I supposed to do? I am working in a field that fits my personality, my time constraints, my  skills and certainly has great pay. In 7 months in this wonderful state I have found NOTHING else that works with that.

I go to the gym - yes because I don't want to be fat and unhealthy anymore. My actions, eating habits and physical activity all will have a positive influence on Liam and also allow me to spend more time and energy on and with RIGHT.

It's not a good idea for me to go back to school right now, I should wait...til when? the 2nd coming of Jesus? If I have the opportunity to go to school and I don't have to quit the library immediately WHY would I not take it? This makes zero sense. The perfect job for me would be a Retail Account Manager for Benefit or a Regional Artist for MUFE, but guess what? Those jobs require traveling 75% of the time. If I was selfish I wouldn't care that I would hardly see Liam, I would hire a nanny and take the job anyways! Those would be career positions, ways that I could advance in the near future, but I have scrapped that idea because I can't stand to be away from him like that anymore. So how could starting a much more open, flexible and non saturated career in Nursing be a bad move?!

Yes I'm not the best housekeeper - the only thing I can say to that is I can do much better, but my better will never be YOUR version of clean/tidy etc...

I am beyond frustrated. What was a decent week has now gone to hell! Thank you Dad for reminding me what a P.O.S. I truly am! Gotta have people around like you to keep me on my toes and let me know how I'm not good enough, I'm constantly selfish and I'm a terrible mother. This post is dedicated to YOU!!!! 

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Healthier is Better

I meant to do this post about a week ago, but I have passed the 7 month mark! If I can continue to lose about 10lbs per month, by October I will be within 6-12 lbs of my final goal. That is truly amazing. Being on this journey has opened up my eyes, my mind and I am in a much better place in every aspect than this time last year.  I am so happy for the support of friends and family and still can't believe I am doing this/have done this.

So to break down my plans a little further here is my lb by lb plan to shed the weight:

today March 7 - 296.2
March 10 -294 weighed in at 293.2! #POW
April 7- 284
May 5 - 274
June 7 (end of my Isabody Challenge) 264 (that would be a total of 44 lbs lost during the challenge; I started at 308 lbs with the challenge)
July 7 - 254
August - 244
September - 234
Oct 31 (I will give myself until the end of the month) 220-224

I will continue to do Get Fit Club until the Summer is over and possibly start again in the fall and take ALL the classes the YMCA offers that I can fit into my schedule. By mid-April, I want to be working out 5x/week. I may hire another trainer, I am on the fence about that...we'll see.

In the near future, I'm going to do an 11 day body transformation where I stick to the Isagenix regimen STRICTLY and do a total of 4 cleanse days during that period! I'm not going to deviate from the plan at all especially on the cleanse days. I'm so ready for this!!

 me at 328 lbs - my highest weight!! YIKES! 

 me now at 296

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Back on Track...well mostly

I will be posting my WLJ Week 28 Vid sometime today and I am so glad to be back on track. I have a goal this week to lose another 2 lbs. I want by the end of this month to be to a certain weight and if I fast and follow my Isagenix the way I'm supposed to, I'm pretty sure it will happen! I am really liking/adjusting to my new body. It's nowhere near where I want to end my journey but I am amazed at the changes the human body can make! I look better right now at about 30 lbs heavier than right after I gave birth to Liam. That is where the exercise comes in.

This month, my plan is to get 4 workouts in per week. I have my 2 Get Fit Club trainings per week, I signed up this month to do TRX 1x/week and I will try to workout at LEAST 1 time with my Jillian Michaels Power Yoga. If I can keep everything together, I'm hoping to shed 8 lbs this month...#leggo!

Until again,

The rest of my Modeling Portfolio thus far...

Featured on ! :)

Come check me out! :)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

I'm Blessed

A lot has been going on in the past weeks/months, but I'm/we're still here. I want to send up prayers again for all the people affected by the t-storms and tornadoes sweeping across the midwest and the south :(. Things like that makes us realize we are but human!

My weight loss is back on track. I am down another 1.8 lbs. I'm really gonna bust my ass now and forward. My Isabody challenge is over June 6 and I want to be another 20-30lbs down in 3 months. That's going to take hard work and REALLY sticking to the regimen, but I know I can do it. After June, my next big goal is Liam's 3rd bday which is when I plan to be my size 16 in jeans and dress! I cannot wait!

Work with Benefit is AWESOME! I have a total of like 45 hours with them this month. I am so blessed for this opportunity. I am working there today 12-5 and honestly, although I hate KY sometimes. God meant for me to be here right now doing this exact thing. I know it, I feel it and when Nursing school begins, I honestly cant wait to start that chapter in my life. God doesn't necessarily work in mysterious ways, I think He just works in ways we wouldn't have the divine knowledge to work in ourselves.

I am feeling good this morning despite the many challenges looming overhead for me....I'm going to pray and keep praying and hope that things will be alright. I will be posting a video today for my Week 28 WLJ - MONTH 7! Wow! :)

until again,

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Cicely WLJ Weeks 26 and 27

Cicely Face of FFFWeek 2012 Submission

Mom's Been a Busy Bee

This has been the longest and most jam-packed week I have had in a looooooong time. I'm exhausted. I'm tired even as a write this entry and am going to try to keep and it short while updating you guys.

News this week:

* Hired as a freelancer with Benefit here in Lexington - start today
*According to last month's measurements, I have lost 2.5 inches
*I am submitting my video for the Face of Full Figured Fashion Week. I am doing the video today and submitting today or tomorrow for the March 2 deadline. (I did NOT submit for the runway because I knew I wasn't ready yet)
* I am submitting to the Spokesmodel for Curves Rock Fashion Weekend in MD in July
* I will be featured this Monday on :) I will post the link here so you can read my mini interview and see it!
* On a whim I found what seems to be a reputable talent (singers, actors, models, etc) agency here in KY. I submitted to them and they contacted me back meaning I will have a go-see coming up with them in the next few weeks. I am cautiously optimistic and hoping something good can come out of this. The market that I am currently in is SO small, I know I will have to travel elsewhere for castings, shows etc...but we'll see.
*my bff James has an art show tomorrow night and In am definitely planning to go and support him
*I'm working at Benefit Saturday and Sunday!
*My goal is to get 5 workouts in this week. So today, tomorrow for sure and Sunday!

Will keep you guys posted :)