Sunday, March 25, 2012

Single Mama vs. Divorced Dad & Single Guy

I have been reading through some new blogs and thinking a lot about the dating process. I have been thinking about my place as a Mom, a woman and a single woman/single mom. One interesting thing that came up is the transition from single and alone mom to single and dating mom. Eventually (years from now) will I become The Married Momtrepeneur? lol I still think that no matter my relationship status I may always on some level operate as a single mom. But THAT is just a random thought.Now on to the meat and potatoes of this post:

I have a couple of like interests (because love is entirely too strong of a word). The DD (divorced dad) is currently the strongest contender. I really like this guy. He is witty, educated, has good conversation, has piercing blue eyes, was previously a photographer whose current job is working on planes. He is the father of 2 biracial children and seems to be a good dad. He is 19 years my senior (turning 43 in April) and claims to be"smitten" with me. His words, not mine. He is a total silver fox and definitely my type. But he is on the end of a divorce and I really don't know where things could or would go. Actually, I will be straight up, the only thing I think that can come out of this is a rebound on his part. It seems to be much easier for men to come out of a divorce and begin actively dating than for a woman. Not that I can even blame him, that is the situation and that's life. I'm 100% sure that a divorce, custody proceedings and the financial strain puts anyone in a bad, needy, emotional space. I understand where he is coming from in that aspect. So what can I do? Keep my guard up...as usual. See where things go but keep my expectations low and my guards high. But no matter what, I know my worth.

Frankly, I am truly tired of having to guard myself against everyone and everything. I am mentally ready for a REAL, strong, healthy, long lasting relationship and have finally (mostly healed) from the debacle that was 2.5 years of my life with Liam's father. Why is it so hard to find a quality man? I know I have a lot to offer the right person. I know with the right person by my side, I can continue to develop and flourish as a woman/person. I know that I can be a great girlfriend/significant other/wife. Thus far, I have not been in the right relationship with the right man to let my true, giving self shine through. 

Let's move on to the second guy, SG (single guy). He is a very nice guy.I feel like he is the type of person that has truly learned from his past negative experiences.We have talked about lots of deep things and have really gotten to know each other pretty well.He is not the best looking guy but he makes up for that by being a seemingly good person. He seems mature, wants to one day be married or at least in a serious, long term relationships. He currently has no kids, but would like to in the future (yeah I'm still on the fence about the another kid thing, just not sure if it is my cup of tea. It would have to be at least 7-10 years from now) Problem is I like him, but I'm not into him.I don't like him like THAT. The other problem is that he is into ME like that and I really don't know what to do. He is a sensitive guy and I think that me telling him that things won't work out between us won't go so well. I would like to still talk to him occasionally, just not romantically maybe. The way I feel about it is that he may think I am leading him on, which I honestly didn't intend to do. I do like him and have told him that, but I never said I was ready to jump into a relationship with him. Especially because this relationship would be long distance. I just don't have the same type of feelings I think that he has for me and I'm not sure how that is going to work out. How the hell do I get myself into these situations? *sigh* 

4 comments:

  1. Wow two options they both seem pretty nice lol. Good luck choosing the best contender :) its not always easy making these decisions

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    1. hahaha it's never easy!Not even with one :) Hope u and your girl are doing well!

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  2. Girl have fun. The sliver fox sounds hot boo! Get out there and have fun, and ther is nothing sxier than a good dad! Good look! Update us!
    New follower by the way!
    :)

    chunkyfunkymonkeyz.blogspot.com/

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    1. haha yes I'm going to totally STOP stressing the situation and let it unfold as it may! :)

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