Last Post of 2010

So I'm not up for all the hoopla this year. I worked til 7 tonight and got home around 8:40pm. Sadly I was beat, broke and my tummy was rumbling for some good eats...so I came home threw down in the kitchen and am about to partake in a Margarita before I hit the bed and wake up in a new year. I am not going to write resolutions b/c I already know in my mind the things I can/will/need to do to make 2011 better than 2010.

I miss my Poops so much. It's only been about 3 days since he's been in Kentucky with my parents, but it feels like a lifetime! :( But I skyped with him yesterday and of course call and talk to him on the phone every day. I really don't have to much to say but let's go out and make those dreams a reality and I hope every1 had a safe, festive last day of 2010. Stay blessed

FLMM! :)

Another Day, Another Dolla

I was happy to get called into work for tomorrow and Friday. A mere 11 hours of work, but I will be able to put a dent in some of the things I have to pay and most importantly buy Poops a couple pair of shoes that he definitely needs. Life is not perfect, but I am thankful for the little I do have. I actually have alot (in terms of emotional fulfillment - can't ask for anything better than Liam), but it's the material things I am so desperately lacking! So hopefully something wonderful materializes in the near future, I have a 2nd interview at the laser procedure office i applied for about 2.5 weeks ago. Hope that's a good sign.

I am in the process of taking steps to improve my health...details on that to follow.
I miss Poops something terrible, but I know I am doing the right thing for our situation. I love him too much to have him here in the midst of moving, me stressing about job huntin, etc. He is home with Granny and Pops with space, toys galore, good food and my whole family who just loves his little face - for that I am grateful. So tonight I go to bed thankful and hopeful for my future. Law school, good job, healthier me, better Mom and raising a smart, respectful son here I come! :)

As the Year Comes to a Close...

I have had a very busy past few days! Xmas came and went REALLY quickly. Poops is now in Kentucky with Mom & Dad and I'm already really sad. We drove to NYC with Adam and Ada and we just got back tonight. So loooooong! Also we missed Blizzard 2010 here in NYC, so I am thankful we left when the road conditions weren't terrible. I am back on my grind job hunting for cosmetics jobs and praying to God that He will make a way. I still can't believe in 5 short days, this crazy year will be over. I can only hope and pray and look forward to wonderful things next year. I am making this a short entry. I am exhausted! I will write more ASAP. Good night!

The Love of My Life!!!

Vlog

Here I am...shitty quality..bleh!

And This Christmas, Will Be...

I still can NOT believe it is Christmas on Saturday! It feels unreal! I am not having a Christmas like any I have had before, but I do get to go home and spend it with my family and well that's the ONLY thing I want to do every year anyways. I bought Poops a Christmas sweater, some dress shoes and will be buying more sippy cups and other essentials. He still needs boots and some more walking shoes. He's good with clothes. I wish I had enough money to buy something for my parents. I feel guilty when I can't get them stuff til about 6 weeks later (tax return). Even my friends don't get their Xmas gifts til the day AFTER Xmas when all the holiday gift sets are 50-75% off! But hey a bargain is a bargain and they are mostly here in NYC anyways.
Poops will be staying behind in Kentucky when we go down there until February...or for just about a month if  the job offer comes through...I am not so worried about it anymore. What is meant to happen will happen and I know that I will find my way to happiness eventually. So it's 90% likely I'm moving back to KY mid February.
I'm ready to ace this LSAT, get into L-school and begin that new chapter of my life...for what I am looking for, I have decided that Fordham University will be my first choice. I am applying there PT (for the first year) depending on my LSAT score and also for a dual degree - MFA in Creative Writing. That way I can do two things I am passionate about that are on opposite sides of the brain :).
I still am not feeling the holiday cheer. I don't know what the difference is between this year and every other. Well we didnt decorate around the apartment and there hasn't really been any snow. Not to mention this month just FLEW by...I guess?! Until the next time...

Mama the Mua's been Working!

Hey! Sorry it has been a couple of days. Got 5 days in a row freelancing in Jersey City and although an almost 2 hr commute...well worth it and I'm enjoying and of course happy to pick up some days at work! God is good! I am hoping that this is a precursor for more good things that are about to happen in my near future with job prospects namely from that Australian brand I interviewed with on Wednesday! Here are some pics of my makeup/hair lately. Enjoy :)

I must confess...

To amend a previous review I gave of the Iman Luxury Radiance Liquid Foundation...I must say that I really do LOVE it! It has grown on me. Although it does come OUT of the tube a golden color, it actually blends into the orangey/cool tone that I love wear on my skin...I'm actually excited. My skin looks dewy, youthful and well Luminous! lol I use just a pea size for great coverage. I am definitely going to buy her powder now. I have finally found a way to be stylish, radiant AND frugal :) YAY :) Here is a pic of me wearing it recently:

Thanks to My Followers!

Hey so I realize this is kinda corny, but I would just like to shout out the 9 people who have followed my blog! I have been at this for 3 months :) and I'm glad people actually care about what I have to say. :)
On another completely random note. I'm sure most people have taken those personality tests that put you into 3 of the following categories that you rank the highest in (realistic, investigative, artistic, social, enterprising, conventional). No matter how many times I took those damn things I continued to get the same results: Social, Enterprising, Artistic.

At first I was kind of disgruntled with my results. At 14, I didn't really want to be told that after college I could go on to become a teacher or a hair stylist or better yet a social worker. All of those things were SO not appealing to me. Now that I have fully understood the extent to which those categories can reach, I now know they fit me to a T! :)

Lesson Learned

This past week has been nuts! Poops had his surgery on Thursday and made it through with flying colors. He is doing great and you would never know he even had surgery. Me on the other hand, I feel like poopie warmed over. I have some sinus issues and have felt terrible since Friday. I have pretty much been hibernating this weekend. Looks like I will be going home for Christmas after all, probably December 22-29.
The whole Macy's situation fell through, they were NOT going to pay me what I believe I deserved to get paid or what made sense for the position. So another one bites the dust. When I tell people I will be leaving NYC in February, they all ask me "why?". I'm f-in broke that's why! lol I can't find a job even paying enough to sustain me and let me pay my rent. I have no choice but to leave. It's December and I just don't think I'm going to be able to pull off finding a job in the next 8 weeks! :/
Also, this week I thought I had lost a good friend of mine because of my assholishness. Yeah! I really need to work on that...Til next time

Figuring it Out

Since being underemployed, I have an incredible amount of time to reflect on things (blessing and a curse). I think about decisions I have made, am making and will make in the future. Some things havent changed: my desire to go to law school, my desire to model and as always my desire to write and create through poetry. I have especially sat around and thought about my current lack of full time employment. I'm not as stressed as I was previously- well I actually am, but it comes in bouts. But I feel like I have exhausted EVERY angle and option that I have. It seems like the Counter Manager position is going to fall flat and at this point there are really no other offers on the table.

I have an interview tomorrow with a dermo-cosmetic spa chain here in NYC. I don't know what it means, but I pray it is something good. I have said that if I can find a position paying $35,000+ I will remain in NYC. I realize that it is a very LONG shot to get that salary range with the little experience I do have, but that's what it would take for me to get out of this shitty apartment, pay off my debt, afford daycare and be a generally happier and better adjusted Mom and person.

I am going into tomorrow's interview hoping to wow these people with my personality, southern charm, positive energy and hope they can see the drive I have to succeed and make a career for myself. I am almost 23 and I am done with jobs. If offered this position, I would stay 2-2.5 years for my start date, let us not forget that I am planning on being a lawyer too. :) So let's say if hired now, i would stay until about June 2013 and then begin law school fall 2013 (hopefully they would let me defer my enrollment one more year). So I am praying that this works out or that God has some bigger plan that I  start to see the makings of real soon. I just want to survive and be happy. I want to be the best Mom and provider I can be.

On another note, I was recently told by a male friend that I was too career oriented. As in, I told him that if the choice came between "love" and my career, that is actually something I would have to think about. Scenario: I become a lawyer and get a great job offer in hundreds of miles away. Relocation paid for, great schools, set up in an apartment, great salary. I cannot say for sure I would give that up for a man. UNLESS I was married, then of course if my husband can't relocate then it wouldn't make sense. But I don't see myself as a 30 year old lawyer with a 9 year old turning down that type of opportunity for advancement. At the end of the day, the only man I have to look out for is Liam. It has been me and him since day 1 and will always be. If I don't look out for our best interest, no one else will.

So I will post tomorrow to update on the interview and how it went! Until then...

Original POSTING 9/30/2010 Mama's on a Roll

This is my 2nd blog this week...oww! :) I'm proud of myself. I went to pick up my degree yesterday and it still seems kinda surreal to me that I have finally graduated college. I guess it's because much of the things that are happening in my life were still happening while I was in school! :/? lol
Liam had a doc appt with the Urologist today, but as always with public health insurance, there are some hoops to jump through :/ He WILL be circumcised before he reaches 18 months damnit! But on that note I'm going to job hunt and make use of the rest of my day. Benefit Cosmetics hired me as a freelancer, but it's not a guarantee of steady hours, so the hunt continues...might have an interview tomorrow with Rite Aid as a shift leader...we shall see. until next time

FutureLawyerModelMama

Life or Something Like it!

Another end to another week and I am pissed AGAIN, overwhelmed and outdone!

#1- My unemployment has been delayed for 2 weeks so I have not had ANY money for TWO WEEKS. Even after I called these people to correct whatever error there was, still no payments have been released. WTMF???

#2-  Not only did the would-be future employer NOT agree to a higher salary, they had the nerve to try to undercut me 50 LESS cents. You have got to be f&*kin' kidding me?!?!?! I am at the point where I really want to say f&*k everything!!! I AM SOOOOO TIRED OF EVERYTHING GOING WRONG IN MY LIFE. 1 step forward and 2 steps back! It apparently is going to be f--kin' impossible for me to pay my rent in full, pay my utilities, have ANYTHING for Xmas, new shoes for Liam for Xmas. I am at the end!

#3-  Also, of course today they would call me back from LHA & want to meet with me to fill out paperwork for housing TOMORROW! why oh why did it have to be tomorrow? That doesn't even give me the time to take a bus home or ANYTHING! My hands are tied and I honestly don't know what else to do. I have run out of all options and have no idea what else to do!


No MONEY! No FT JOB! No HELP! No end in sight of this bullsh!t that has consumed my life!!!!

I really would like to just run to an open field and SCREAM at the TOP OF MY LUNGS.I am still holding out hope that things will come together and work out because they always do, but I don't see an end to this one, I really dont. I have prayed about the situation, but there is apparently nothing else earthly that can be done to remedy the problems I have right now.

Updates on the Adventures!

Hey guys,
I cannot believe it is a brand new month and the last month of the year at that. in 30 days we will be in 2011. Time is just seemingly flying by. Though this has been a rough year to say the least, I am soo thankful for the good things that have happened in my life and I guess even thankful for the bad ones!  The end of this year truly signals the start of my full time prep again for the LSAT and law school admissions and I can't be happier. I know that once I get in, the REAL work begins, but I am ready. I am ready to have a meaningful and challenging career, I am ready to become a judge or possibly open up my own practice. I am ready to see justice served. I am also ready to live out my dreams of modeling, ready to publish my poetry and most importantly ready for the thrills and challenges that motherhood poses as Poops gets older.

I am ready to be debt free! lol I am ready to begin enjoying life and I am ready to work on being a better person. 12 months can be a short time or a long time, depends on how u look at it. What I do know is that by Oct 15, 2011 ALL my law school applications will be completed and sent out. Hopefully, in a year's time I will be writing in this blog about where I got in :)

Still waiting on a decision from the powers that would be at Macy's about the salary negotiation - bleh!

til next time!

Product Reviews Oyin Handmade! :)

http://oyinhandmade.com/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=14_15&products_id=34&zenid=jio5uoh4krohfr33lnf59gt926

Loved, loved, LOVED the scent of this product! It was a great refresher for my 2 strand twists and helped the products absorb a little better. :) A fan for life of this product. used this on both myself and Poops!

http://oyinhandmade.com/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=14&products_id=28

This right here is the truth for winter weather hair. My twists were hydrated and when I untwisted my hair, it was so soft, manageable and hydrated. this product is a bit on the heavy side so wouldn't probably use this in the Summer time but the other seasons when your hair is begging for moisture/oil, this will be my go-to product.

"Burnt Sugar contains: castor oil, soy wax, organic virgin coconut oil, mango seed oil, olive oil, unrefined hempseed oil, cocoa butter, broccoli seed oil, and fragrance."

http://oyinhandmade.com/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=14&products_id=14

Kept my edges at bay fa real fa real! and mine are hard to tame! I also loved how this defined my curls and cut down on the frizzy/dry look. Worked wonders on Poops' soft curly hair.

http://oyinhandmade.com/shop/index.php?main_page=product_reviews_info&products_id=3&reviews_id=2

I love the smell. Like coffee and vanilla combined. I have also used it on dry hands, ankles and lips. Works wonders as a hair and body moisturizer.

Thoughts!!

So today was a pretty good day. I ran some errands with Poops this a.m. Straightened up around the house and had some real talk with Liam's future mother-in-law lol (Shavonne). I also began to reflect on the state of my life currently. I feel almost satisfied with the things I've accomplished, but I want more. I began to wonder if I'm on the right path and what exactly I have to do to get the things I want to in life. I want so much and wonder if sometimes it's too much? Is it REALLY possible to be a successful plus size model while balancing a career in law while still pursuing my interest in makeup while still being a great mother while being able to be a wife?! Mon Dieu, it's tiring just to think about it.

I always think about decisions I have made in my life and how they have led me to where I am today. I don't regret anything I have or haven't done, but I think the next steps I make in my life right now are crucial. I am really disappointed with how people are in the world in general. I have realized I can only look out for ME and for Poops. We are a family unit and everything I do has to benefit US, nothing more, nothing less. I cant even truly entertain the thought of dating or getting into a serious relationship b/c right now I am too selfish, too hungry. I am hungry for success and accomplishment and I am selfish because at this point I refuse to put a relationship among the list of my top priorities.
I am focused on what I want in life and I refuse to stop and settle for anything less.

Dia de Gracias! Orig. written Thrs, Nov 25,2010

I had a really good day today. Chris, Liam and I enjoyed Thanksgiving. What was on the menu u ask?: Turkey wings, Ham, baked mac n cheese, broccoli, west indian style corn, chitlins (umm my brother ate that nasty ish NOT me), biscuits and pumpkin pie with vanilla ice cream. I can mos def say we were eatin' good in the hood TODAY!! :)

I work tomorrow on the ever-famous Black Friday from 10am-6pm, I'm actually glad because I literally don't have money to shop anyways! So with all the crowd and holiday traffic, the day should go by hella fast.

Can't believe we are only one month shy of Christmas! WOW! Then, the year will be over.

Received a job offer for the counter manager, they are only offering an amount I have previously made...can't do it, won't do it for that amount of money. I need at LEAST $2 more an hour to survive with Poops. Tomorrow begins operation salary negotiation people!

Bedtime!

G'night!

Future Lawyer and the LSAT

So I have fallen off the wagon a bit in my LSAT study. NOT good. I am going to commence the studying TODAY and begin to read my Powerscore books again. I have researched and I will A) take the powerscore online course and/or B) find private individual to tutor me on the LSAT. I want a 170 damnit and that's what I am going to get. As some of you know, my undergrad GPA left much to be desired. In retrospect, working fT hours while taking  15+ credit hours is NEVER a good idea, but in NYC it's what I had to do to survive. I want the schools I'm applying to to see me for the mature, WOMAN that I am and not the 18 y.o. girl who began college as a naive Freshman.

L-school to do:
1) get one more rec from Professor Harden
2) work on personal statement
3) work on addendum
4) STUDY - 1 hr per day for LSAT
5) research schools in depth
6) research grant/fellowship/scholarship options

My Almost Old Hollywood Glam Look

Products on: Stila liquid concealer (in silver tube), Smashbox tinted moisturizer in Deep, MAC bronzer in Sunset, Anastacia Brow Powder, Revlon Matte lipstick in "Wine Not", Mac eyeshadow and some others from my pallette, false lashes $2 from beauty supply store and L'Oreal HIP cream eyeliner in Navy

Product Review: Iman 2nd to None Luxury Radiance Liquid & Sheer Finish Bronzing Powder

So first of all. I love the texture of the 2nd to None Liquid foundation. It is weightless. I feel like I have nothing on...con: entirely too yellow for my Cool undertone. I used the match finder on Iman's website and it pointed me in the direction of the color Earth 1. This was supposed to be the conversion from my MAC NC50...hmm not so much! For the price point: about $14, I will make it work.

http://imancosmetics.com/face/liquid_makeup.php


The Sheer Finish Bronzer I actually got in the wrong shade. I purchased Clay and I should have gotten Earth, for that I think I will stick to my MAC Sunset Bronzer. It hasn't done me wrong in o ver a year. Overall, these products are great in quality and a good go-to when you have budget constraints!

http://imancosmetics.com/face/bronzers.php

Above: me wearing the products

My Review of Makeup Artist Brush Belt

Originally submitted at EyesLipsFace.com

The e.l.f. Makeup Artist Brush Belt is made of an easy to clean faux leather material. The belt has an array of interior nylon pockets varying in size to accommodate all brush sizes. The center pockets are also designed to hold mascara, eye pencils, lip glosses or any other slender makeup product...

Makeup Artist Brush Belt

Great Price for great product

By Cici Makeup Queen from NYC on 11/22/2010

5out of 5

Pros: One size fits most, Compact, Functional, Easy To Use, Great Design
Best Uses: Travel, Freelance MUA
Describe Yourself: Trendy Style

I am a freelancer who works for Benefit cosmetics and do work on the side myself and needed a professional belt that was cost effective, sleek, durable and easy to use. This belt fits all of the above! I am truly happy with my purchase and may order another as a backup! I was previously keeping my brushes in a roll which is great for home, but now when I go on jobs, this will be my go to!

(legalese)

More Pix after the jump:

Llego el Lunes

Wow! Monday again! So no word from Bank of America. Which is actually ok by me! I am applying for jobs in other arenas now: PR/marketing, beauty account exec, admin assistant, legal assistant. Anything that will be profitable and have normal hours!
I had an emotional breakthrough this weekend. I am so glad that I did. It brought me closer to someone and i think it's for the better. It is amazing how much sh!t a person can carry around with them for a lifetime or at least a major part of 22 years. Im ready to stop being a slave to my feelings and move on to a more emotionally sound and stable existence!
Freelancing is just going ok. I'm not happ with my sales, I don't think i have even hit goal yet :/ damn! I have been working hard, but i think i just need to change my approach around. next weekend I'm gonna bust my ass and hit that goal!
Hoepfully me and Poops can get to BK Children's Museum on Wednesday? I hope so!!!
Thanksgiving is Thursday! Wow! Where did this year go?

***Updates to come!

Mama the MUA goes to work!

Hey guys! So Poops and I didn't make it to the museum this week. We had some ridiculous apartment issues @ the beginning of the week that prevented us from doing so. Today I am working in HSQ @ Benefit and also next Fri and Saturday for the Black Friday rush/sales @ Macy's. I'm actually glad. Kinda sucks it's a weekend but oh well! There is money to be made and Mama needs to bring in the dough! :) Today's theme is old hollywood glam...i have the perfect look for that :) Liam is going to Gma #2 today!

Next week is Thanksgiving and I think me, Poops and Chris will all spend it together. I don't feel like really traveling around and making a big to-do about it! I will bake a cream pie, get a Rotisserie chicken, make sum fixins (lol) and call it a day.

Bought some awesome new hair stuff from Oyin Handmade for me and Poops. Very reasonable prices and $ well spent. I ordered a makeup brush belt from ELF Cosmetics and it will probably arrive today or tomorrow - but of course I won't be home if today! I also decided to finally try Iman cosmetics b/c I am in need of a new foundation...we'll see how it goes. I like the tones and texture (seemingly) of her products.

Xmas is right around the corner. I'm planning on buying Poops some clothes and a few books. For myself...I'm gettin diva'd out and treating myself to a new do' and maybe a pair of shoes :)

Poops & Mom Vs. World :)

Mua..bored strikes again! lol

Here is me in what I like to call "Enchanted Forest Smokey" :)

Cicely the MUA does Smokey

With all the free time I have been enjoying, here are the fruits of my intensive makeup artist labor:

my 1st professional attempt at classic black/grey smokey eye

midnight blue smokey

left eye

eyes primed with concealer and brows shaped

finished product: brows shaped, shadow/liner/mascara, lipgloss, foundation and bronzer

turqs and blue smokey-ish

Feeling Much Better Today!

Well I am much less frustrated than yesterday. I have plans for me and Poops to go to a museum next week. The 3 I have in mind first are all in Brooklyn: NY Transit, BK Children's and NY Aquarium. That's in order from least to most expensive :) But with all this free time, I need to take advantage of all the cultural stuff there is to do in NYC! Who knows when else I will get the time to enjoy things like this with Poops? So I am hoping to get to the Transit museum by next Wednesday and take lots of pics and post them here and facebook!

Fashion show is now slated for Fri, Dec 17 @ 8pm. Location to be announced. I'm excited. We have the music that we're walking to and we saw the materials for our dresses/outfits. Mama's excited!! :)

Job hunt has flatlined. No interviews or anything lined up. Waiting to hear final word from BOA.

Can't believe we move in about 3 months! Nuts! Liam's circumcision surgery is Dec 9! Coming up soon!

Keep you guys updated with anything else that is going on with us!

Annoyed & Overwhelmed

This is actually Thrs, November 11, 2010 :)

I will admit it...sometimes I look @ my life and wonder what the hell I got myself into?
#1 Being a single mother is NOT something I would EVER repeat. You could say I "knowingly" agreed to the situation, but I honestly used to think that people can change and do the right thing - yeah only if they want to. To each their own, but the stress especially at this point in my life is overwhelming. I don't even feel like myself anymore...I feel like the 20 year older version of...that has less to do with Liam and more to do with the fact that his father is a piece of s%*!, but that is another post for another day. I don't feel comfortable leaving Poops overnight and I don't think I can compromise that comfort to go out for a night on the town :/ So pretty much, since I havent been working, he and I are together ALL day and ALL night. And then I start to feel bad because I NEED a break. Just 1 day a week alone to think, do some soul searching and be myself - or at least try to figure out who the hell i am anymore. I wonder for other people is it hard to find the balance between who u used to be and now being someone's mom too? It's not as simple as I thought at the beginning :(

#2 I must have been smokin' crack - obvs not LITERALLY - when i REALLY thought that I could see where things could/would go with the guy mentioned wtf was I thinking? I'm leaving NYC in 3 months? Who knows if I ever will come back? I'd like to, I'm planning to, but who knows what will happen between now and  2012?!? Maybe I was just tired of being alone and not having someone to talk to and someone to relate to in a romantic way..idk...that's the strange part about me that is truly an Aquarian trait. I am an extrovert but I also need alone time. But I don't like to always be alone and when I feel a certain way, I feel it all the way. Example: When I am frustrated, i'm just outdone! When i'm angry, I am truly pissed. Sadness becomes almost like depression. So my emotions run pretty deep. But then again, i do know what I was thinking: I am almost 23 years old and I have a 13 month old baby, I have solid plans for my career and have a very clear sense of the direction I'd like my life to go in...maybe, just maybe I can be all the happy. Maybe I can have everything all at once. Great kid, great life and great relationship...apparently I asked for too much :/
--> i began to think deeper about this issue and get pissed off when having a conversation with dude and because we are not "together" and admittedly like each other, he called me his "special friend". i was offended because that just sounds sleazy imho. we're not sleeping together and this is not a friends with benefit situation....so im confused as to why that wld b the appropriate lingo? i told him look i'm not your SPECIAL friend, I'm just your friend, plain and simple. so no, we r not in a rela
--> then, right on the coattails of that conversation, we begin to talk about February - which is our birthday month,Valentine's day and the month I leave NYC...jokingly i told him i wanted something nice for V-day and it turns into him thinking i want something elaborate (i.e. $$$$) and i just got pissed b/c REALLY??!? REALLY? No asshole, let's try the good ol' i wld like to feel appreciated! ugggh bugger off!  if i was gonna date a guy for $, i wldnt b involved with the broke ass bastards i go for!!!

lmmfao i guess i will just find me a man in law school! hahahaha

Goals for 2011!

So with all this free time on my hands, I've really been able to sit down and sort things out in my oft-jumbled brain. I wrote my first poem at the tender age of 9 and when I turned about 14 began to get serious and write in my journal diligently and get more into poetry. My favorite subject in school has always been English and now with a Creative Writing degree, things along those lines seem to have fallen into place.

Currently I am working on my first manuscript of poetry to hopefully be published next year under a model buddy of mine' and her husband's company Bravin Publishing LLC. I like the message behind the company and what she and her husband stand for and I believe that their company is the appropriate channel in which to market my work.

So now adding another task to complete to my list...the goals for the end of 2010 and all of 2011 are looking like this:

1) study for LSAT independently --> take Powerscore course --> 170+ on LSAT
2) work on getting my first book of poetry published! :)
3) save $ & pay off c.c. debt
4) hit the gym and get into plus model shape! (goal = lose 75lb)
5) do freelance makeup work - but don't become an LLC - yet
6) apply for and get into l-school!

I have got my work cut out for me, but I ain't skurred! Bring it on!

Future Lawyer: My Law School List Revised

So I swear I am having deja vu writing this post...I think I posted it a week ago and then deleted it? yo no se! Anywho, here is the list of the propsective schools I am applying to. Yes, I won't be applying for another 10 months, but it is necessary for me to know my choices as thoroughly as I can down to programs offered, prices, distance from my family etc. Either way, I am going to be spending big bucks here.These are in no particular order:

Duke - would really like to go here. From what I read, they have great family services, on campus housing, cost of living is cheap and it seems to be a real sense of community. About 6-7 hours from KY.

Vanderbilt - another top choice. 4 hour drive from KY, but has a hefty price tag. Dubbed "Harvard" of the south.

UNC - Chapel Hill - imo opinion a great alternative to Duke

Harvard - A definite REACH, but I figured what the hell?! - would be awesome, but maybe not practical even if i got in! high cost of living and rent and who would watch Poops? i didnt read about on-site daycare facilities

Brooklyn Law - I'm still on the fence about this one. #1 PT or FT? - there is the option to go FT for the second yr and still finish in 3 yrs. This is a T2 school and while in NYC, in a great neighborhood, tuition price tag is around what you would expect but again the daunting cost of living in NYC...if only I could get one of those Summer jobs @ an NYC law firm paying $30,000!
          
NYU Law - wld be nice to get in and they have great dual program options, although I don't really think they have what I would like in a dual program
Fordham - Fordham  is #3 school in NYC, but doesnt fare so well nationally in rankings. It's another T2 close in rankings with the Univ of KY. I do like that the school is located near 59th street. They also have a great English M.A. program which is right up my writer's alley! So a dual degree is what I would do here. As we all know living in nyc is expensive enough without adding $50,000/yr + in law school debt!

UK Law - it's a good enough school, I just don't know if I can stomach KY living again! They don't have a dual M.A. program in what I would want (an MFA that is) - cheapest option

U of Cincinnati - great choice b/c it's close to family, but not in KY AND i can get in state tuition, not sure how i feel about their program overall - 2nd cheapest option

This is going to be a difficult decision no matter what. Let's just pray I get into a variety of schools so that my options are more open. I have to blow the LSAT out of the water! ALL the way! If I get to stay in NYC, it looks like Fordham & NYU are my top choices. Otherwise I would love Duke and Vandy. We shall see where I get in and let the fun begin!

Annoyed and Ready to Get My @$$ On to L-school

The prospects of me getting a job anytime soon are looking REALLY slim. My plan was to have landed a much better job back in August, be caught up with all my bills and breeze outta here in February...WOMP!WOMP! not gonna happen that way. It looks like I'm gonna have to use my hard earned tax return $ to pay off not only the remainder of my rent balance, but also my utilities, and the cost to move back to KY. This roughly translate to half of my tax $ gone :/. So I will have to put my Freelance makeup business on hold and look for a new job imme-jiat-ly upon arriving home, actually for like the whole month of January! :/

I am still glad I am waiting til Fall 2012 to commence law school, but I almost wish I could be starting next year. But I have to get my debt down or completely gone and I have to save $!!!! I'm just feeling really bummed lately :( Like wow I spent 4 years in college, through pregnancy, depression and the birth of my son and after all THAT, STILL can't find a job worthwhile that can sustain me and my son! This is why I have to work 10x harder. I will get 2 jobs to save the $ I need to and to pay off my debt. I want to be in the position where I can stop worrying about how the next bill is going to get paid or how I'm going to be able to afford to buy something I really need. :? Welcome to Adulthood...f--k this I wanna be a child again lol

Made my first Youtube Video Starring Me!!!

Happy, Healthy Liam!

Hey.

we had Poops' 1 Yr check up today. Everything is in good order. He is still in the 90th %tile for height and weight which is where he has always been lol. 30.5 inches tall, 27 lb. His eyesight is great, development is on track. He now has a new tooth. the 9th one and it's a top molar :) He didnt tell me about the new addition to his mouth lol. Circumcision surgery is scheduled for Dec 9. Around Dec 1/2, he goes back for 2nd series flu shot and MMR vaccine! :)

Maybe My Pimp Hand Ain't So Strong? & Unemployment Blues

So...I kinda like someone, but it's really not the right time for all that. He is a good person, but something in me fears that while I get my shit together/when I have my shit together, his still won't be...I honestly need a man that is on my level or already at the level I aspire to be! Is it so much to ask??? So maybe I won't be a hot shit lawyer lol for another 4-5 years, but by everything in me, I WILL get there. Hmm IDK, i guess que sera, sera and all that jazz!!! I want to be married BEFORE I'm 30, maybe have another kid or 2 and a career! Can i REALLY have it all?!?

Job news - Waiting to hear back from Bank of America for the PT Teller position - they are apprehensive about my long list of jobs ...well wtf? we live in NY muthafuckin city! lol I had to pay my own rent and bills and buy my own food through college and in order to finish in 4 years I had to find a job that accommodated ME, not the other way around...we shall see.
Benefit Cosmetics @ Queens center mall - Interview for Counter Manager position Wednesday @ 3pm...hoping to kick some ass and land it!It would be a FT position too.

Another month of rent creepin' up on me, I will soon owe for Oct AND Nov. Light bill needs to be paid and cable bill is looming...blah!

All Hallowed's Eve

I cannot believe we are already at the end of this month. Poops is officially 12.5 months old :) I look at him some days and still can't believe he is mine, that I made something so beautiful. It is mind-boggling.

I have decided also that I don't have a choice but to realize my dreams, for myself and for Poops. My parents, especially my Dad, have always told me that they feel I was destined to do great things on Earth and that I just had to find my "calling". No matter what I do, where I go, that "calling" is always to help people. Whether in skin care and makeup or battling in a courtroom, I beleive that all of these things I was destined to do.

I truly think that we limit ourselves in our ability to do things. I won't take no for an answer and I won't sacrifice my dreams for anything. The road through law school is going to be hard, especially with a then almost 3 year old Poops along for the ride, but I feel this is what I am meant to do. Anything worth having is worth the sweat, blood and tears.

All I want to really do is realize my full potential intellectually, spiritually, as a mother, as a model, as a makeup artist and as just plain ol' me. When I move back to NYC, I plan on being much more mature, stable and persistent in chasing my dreams. I am honestly considering being a judge. :) The Honorable Judge Cicely Carter presiding lol :) I am ready to go next level and make my dreams a reality

Brighter Dayz

Some interesting things have transpired in the past couple of days...
Earlier this yr I applied for Benefit Cosmetics for a Counter Manager position and was only turned down because I was still in school @ the time. Today I got a phone call from the Business Manager there at the counter saying that she saw me as a Freelancer for Benefit and wanted to know if I was still interested in the position...DUH lol ! :) This does mean that I probably can't leave NYC for Xmas, but that's a chance I am willing to take in order to add some stability in my life.

Also, we now have a date for Liam's circumcision: Dec 9! I'm so glad that it gets to be done before Xmas. After that Mom can fly up and take him back to KY, until I can move.

Also my unemployment got approved and I hope I will start getting money by next week! God is good and I can't wait for him to continue to bless me in my life! Thank ya Jesus!

Mama's Makin' Some Decisions

Hello again guys!
So I am hoping my hiatus of unemployment is coming to an end. I have an interview with the skin care company Jurlique on Thursday and I am still wating to hear back from Bank of America. Hopefully, once the holiday season picks up, I will be able to get more hours Freelancing for BeneFit. I have decided that I will take Poops back to KY for Christmas and let him stay there until I move back in February. That way I can work more and/or longer hours and make sure things are squared away before I go. Of course I will miss him, but I hate worrying about who is gonna watch him and rushing to get back home and making sure I packed bottles, etc. With my parents, I know he's safe. The only other good side is that I will be able to REALLY celebrate my 23rd birthday in true NYC fashion. :) I'm going to really treat myself this year and not go all out, but go more out than in the past. I love my Poops, but I have been neglecting myself for a year now! Not a good look! lol Stay tuned and pray that I can land FT employment! Until next time...

Summary of the week

Well, well here we are on another Sunday. I did my first 3 days of freelancing for Benefit cosmetics in Macy's and enjoyed it. I am on the lookout for more freelance opportunities. I had a great weekend spending time with Poops and another special person. Sometimes it's nice to have someone to hug up with and cuddle next to. I can't believe in 4 months from now, me and Poops will be in Kentucky. But I know it is for the best! I am currently comtemplating my life and trying to figure out how to make ends meet with what I have. With that said, I am still beyond blessed and despite the minor things that went wrong this week, I did have a very good week.

Cicely believes in 2nd Chances

I had to blog about this because there  r so many significant things that have come to be in my life because of 2nd chances. First being my employment with DR...it's an inside joke b/w me and my former boss, but she took a chance on me and for that I am forever greatful. While working at Duane Reade, I met so many wonderful people, some of which I am still in contact with today. One of them became a really close friend of mine after I repeatedly shut down his offers of kindness. One day something came over me and I decided to be nice...almost 3 years later, we might finally have our 2nd chance. Last and most recently...I am gonna b in the fashion show in December! The designer does has reservations b/c of  a certain Mr.Poops, but I know for a fact what I want I work hard to get. God has blessed me continually this week. I feel good :)

Mama's Raising a Toddler

Liam is 1 year old!!! :) Even though small and cozy, I thoroughly enjoyed his bday celebration! It's not what you have but what you do with what you have and even though it was limited I had some of my closest friends come out and help us celebrate. :)

Thanks Regina & Dato, Steph, Mama P and TJ, Monica, Mom & Dad, Ada, my brother Chris aka Uncle Crispy lol, Gma #2, Jen, Jeff, Uncle Bendy, Mercedes and Korea for helping to make yesterday so memorable! :) P.s. now Poops won't need ANY winter or Fall clothes. I'm/We're truly blessed.
Until next time,
Mama

Mama Celebrates Poops' 1st Birthday!!!

I can NOT believe my lil man is 1 y.o. today..this time last year, I was on the road to Roosevelt Hospital in Manhattan to deliver to bundle of joy :).
I will post pix from his big day later on!! *sigh* Days like today, I <3 my life.

I Gets it on and Popppppiiiiinnnn'! lol Mama the MUA Entrepenuer

1st full week of being steadily unemployed. Waiting to see if unemployment claim is gonna go through. I am steadily trying to get something together for Liam's 1st bday! The landlord needs to jump to it and get my damn oven fixed!! I have decided when I move back that I am gonna work on my own MUA biz, an LLC actually and call it Life Is Always Made Makeup Artistry, LLC ™ . This will be the precursor to developing my own cosmetic line. When I get my tax return $, it's gonna be on and Poppppiiiiin like Chris Brown lol. I am gonna be quintuple grinding: raising Poops, studying for the LSAT, trying to get the biz off the ground, freelancing and working somewhere PT.

For now while still here in NYC:
waiting to hear back from job interviews from last week
inquiring about Hawa Cosmetics Academy
looking for FT employemnt
planning this bday celebration
getting Liam circumcised
getting a new,revised copy of his birth certificate

MUA SPECIAL FALL/WINTER 2010

Hey Divas & Divos too lol I need to build up my portfolio of my makeup work for job purposes when I make it back to Kentuck. Special event coming up? photoshoot? makeup for Halloween? Hot date? Girls night out? Any1 who wants a FREE makeover (must provide your own strip lashes and foundation) and mini facial, contact me with details. All I ask is permission to use your face for before/after pics!!!

email me: MissCicelyCarter@gmail.com

Spread the word to your friends!! :)

Mama's had 1 hell of a week

The week for me consisted of working an entire 2 days and having 2 interviews. I interviewed with Temptu cosmetics on Tuesday to work in their office as a receptionist. Depending on the pay...it's very likely if I got hired, I would stay in NYC a little while longer. Yesterday I interviewed with Bank of America and that went well. The location I applied for is within walking distance of this apartment and it's one of those I will keep it for now to have a steady job type of jobs.

I no longer have a job at that Godforsaken place in Soho. Which is actually a blessing more than a curse. I am choosing not to post the details but those who know me, if u ask I will dish. Benefit hired me Freelance, but I am still waiting to get an i.d. number and actually begin work.

Today Mr. Poops and I are handling some business this a.m. trying to see if our medicaid got reactivated yet and then we are meeting up for a late lunch at TGI Friday's in Union Square with Liam's "Uncle" Alex, a dear friend. I am confident I will find a job, but I am hoping something I would actually want and sooner rather than later.

Mom and Dad will be here Thursday. It's always a relief to see them :). and i know being reunited with Poops will make them too thrilled....8 days til 1st bday! Until next time,

Mama's signin' off

Mama Plans a 1st Birthday

I'm broke to say the least and still trying to figure out how I'm going to at  make Liam's "party" a decent get together. I never planned on spending ridiculous amounts of money, but now I may not even have any amount of money to do some of the things I wanted to :(.
I wanted there to be goody bags for all the guests, some type of halloween-ish decorations and of course there has to be food and drink.  This obviously bothers me more than it does Poops, but I just wanted his birthday to be nice. Also the f-in' stove isnt working and landlord is crying that it will cost too much to fix it immediately, but that he can have it done by the middle of the month! f**kin' perfect! I really can't wait to leave nyc. im not thrilled about moving back in with my parents, but it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to save money in NYC. There are no prospects of a better job, this apartment f-in sucks and I am really stuck about what to do. I have no $, no help and I'm losing my mind! :/ Such is life.

Until next time....

Just me Cicely

I am up for God knows what reason, thinking about my life. I am eternally optimistic about my future and have learned in 22 yrs of life that there is more than 1 way to get to where I need and want to go. One thing I love about NYC is that for all the n'er-do-wells that are here, u find just as many positive and motivated individuals. I'm friends with future doctors,  future lawyers, classically trained dancers, makeup artists, business men and women, photographers, artists, working college students and people from all walks of life. I truly believe that we feed off each other's ambition and energy.
This is what makes the world go round. I have promised myself that I will complete my goals by age 30! This means agency represented plus size model AND law school grad and bar member in the state(s) i choose. My son will have the most amazing life I can give him (i.e. having mom around and indulging a little bit). God instilled in me an internal ticker and a never fading light. When I get the fervor to do something, a force just drives me to that goal and i'm holding on for the ride.

Future Lawyer - I have the LSAC Forum to attend
Model - Today I find out if I got picked for the fashion show
Mama- I have to get things straight with Liam's insurance to ensure we can see the doctor October 20

Good night

ModelMama

Shameless promotion of my baby model protege Liam. Vote for him in the Gap Casting Call contest!! :)
Yes, we entered 2x lol :)
http://gapcc.bz/p?id=44265

AND

 http://gapcc.bz/p?id=43978

Allow myself to introduce...myself :)

Life is amazing and it truly is a gift. I'm Cicely. A native of  Lexington, KY living in NYC. I just graduated with my B.A. in English and in the next 18 months hope to be law school bound. I started modeling when I was about 19 y.o. and fell in love with it. Shortly after I became a certified MUA and now I'm a Mommy to a beautiful 1 year old named Liam! I am terrible at blogging and keeping things updated but I sure as hell am going to try. The purpose of this blog is to tell ppl about my journey and my life. Since graduating, finding a job where I can support my son and myself off of NYC's high prices has proved daunting and so we will be moving back home with my parents for the next 18 or so months, so that I can try to get some stability in our lives. In that time I have some goals:

1) pay off debt
2) lose 75lbs
3) continue to model
4) get a 165+ on the LSAT in June 2011
5) buy a car
6) save $
7) find steady employment
8) work on developing my own MUA biz

So there you have it folks, the beg. of a Future Lawyer Model Mama :) Enjoy the ride!