Figuring it Out

Since being underemployed, I have an incredible amount of time to reflect on things (blessing and a curse). I think about decisions I have made, am making and will make in the future. Some things havent changed: my desire to go to law school, my desire to model and as always my desire to write and create through poetry. I have especially sat around and thought about my current lack of full time employment. I'm not as stressed as I was previously- well I actually am, but it comes in bouts. But I feel like I have exhausted EVERY angle and option that I have. It seems like the Counter Manager position is going to fall flat and at this point there are really no other offers on the table.

I have an interview tomorrow with a dermo-cosmetic spa chain here in NYC. I don't know what it means, but I pray it is something good. I have said that if I can find a position paying $35,000+ I will remain in NYC. I realize that it is a very LONG shot to get that salary range with the little experience I do have, but that's what it would take for me to get out of this shitty apartment, pay off my debt, afford daycare and be a generally happier and better adjusted Mom and person.

I am going into tomorrow's interview hoping to wow these people with my personality, southern charm, positive energy and hope they can see the drive I have to succeed and make a career for myself. I am almost 23 and I am done with jobs. If offered this position, I would stay 2-2.5 years for my start date, let us not forget that I am planning on being a lawyer too. :) So let's say if hired now, i would stay until about June 2013 and then begin law school fall 2013 (hopefully they would let me defer my enrollment one more year). So I am praying that this works out or that God has some bigger plan that I  start to see the makings of real soon. I just want to survive and be happy. I want to be the best Mom and provider I can be.

On another note, I was recently told by a male friend that I was too career oriented. As in, I told him that if the choice came between "love" and my career, that is actually something I would have to think about. Scenario: I become a lawyer and get a great job offer in hundreds of miles away. Relocation paid for, great schools, set up in an apartment, great salary. I cannot say for sure I would give that up for a man. UNLESS I was married, then of course if my husband can't relocate then it wouldn't make sense. But I don't see myself as a 30 year old lawyer with a 9 year old turning down that type of opportunity for advancement. At the end of the day, the only man I have to look out for is Liam. It has been me and him since day 1 and will always be. If I don't look out for our best interest, no one else will.

So I will post tomorrow to update on the interview and how it went! Until then...