Cupid's Chokehold & June Departures

Man oh man! Has alot been going down in my life :/. I miss Poops so much, it is unbelievable. It must be this Spring weather and me wishing that he and I could go frolic in the park. I know he is well taken care of and having fun with mom and dad, but I miss him to pieces...I'm slightly pissed b/c he was dressed up in his vest and dress pants with tie and i'm pretty sure mom and dad DIDNT take pictures...REALLY?!? uggh I'm annoyed all over again thinking about it.

On another different note, I had a Bacardi 151 and Four Loko induced meltdown last night into today and even though I still physically feel kinda sh!tty, I feel much better emotionally. My biggest peeve is when I don't understand how or why I feel a certain way and I agonize over it and stress myself out about it...Needless to say I cried like a baby. I hadn't cried like that in a while...as good as it felt to get it out, I still can't even truly express how I feel. I know why I cried, but there are some things you really have to keep to yourself. I'm normally so collected when it comes to my emotions, so stoic even when it comes to love and I just let the hell loose.

MPL and I were walking and then all of sudden I got HELLA emotional. I have got to learn how to deal with my emotions better instead of letting it all out at once! But I'm all f--ked up. I am still in love with him, I don't know why and I don't want to be in love anymore. I am ready to be over it. Of course I wish things could work out, but they can't and I dont' think they will...EVER...