Heartbreaks & a Few Mistakes. Meantime In Between Time

TGTIT - Thank God Tomorrow is Thursday (i.e. pay day lol) Uggh this day is dragging. Been at work 3 hrs and 35 minutes and I'm #done, #overit and #hatedit right now lol. Also have been a much more active member of Twitter and I must admit it is actually REALLY fun! :)


I miss my Poopsalopolous :/ lol Yes a new found nickname. My lil baby boo. He is getting too grown. I miss him so much and hope and pray we never have to be separated like this again at least not until he goes to college!

808s & Heartbreaks continue...but not for much longer! I have decided, especially in light of recent events that all I can do is tell MPL how I feel and felt and move the hell on. At this point, after I leave NYC  I may never see him again and even if I do, I may never have the chance to tell him all that I feel & purge these feelings out of me. He will probably never understand that I would have been there through the rough times he's going through now and the brighter times in the future. He will never understand that I want Liam to have a REAL Dad and eventually want to have more kids and it COULD have just possibly, maybe been with him. He will never understand that I just wanted him to put in the effort like I was and man up. I realized he didn't have alot to offer (in terms of tangible things), but the intangible (love and the way he could have treated me) would have been enough until he could get the rest of his life together. He will never understand that had he just been 100% with me from the beginning, it would have been easier for both of us to walk away.
He will never understand that I actually do understand the hurt he has left over from his ex, as I had something of the same extent happen to me. I'm not completely recovered yet, but everyday I get closer. I know what is like to need the time to heal from something so terrible. But I am still living and trying to better my life. All I wanted was for someone to love me, support me and to be apart of my son's life. Yes, I want a fuckin family! Well obviously. But you know what at the end of the day I won't sweat it. I'm not desperate and I realize what I have: a beautiful son that makes me eternally happy, a loving family, great friends and the drive and ambitions to do and accomplish everything I put my mind to. Yes, that is a FutureLawyerModelMama. That's what makes me who I am and makes me one of a kind. If any man who wants to be involved with me can't see that...I'm not the one to force him.

June 17/18 I'm outta NYC!!!!