I miss my Poops! He is 3 ft tall, 34 lbs...growing into such a handsome and beautiful little boy and I cant stand to be away from him any longer. I will be 10x happier when I can just hold him, kiss him, and watch him sleep at night. When he calls out to me "ma-Mama" and I can just walk into the next room and scoop him up. When he can sit in m lap while I read him a book! I miss everything about him. His screaming, his crazy little laugh and his soft and chubby arms and legs.
I feel like shit...why have I left him for so long? I have missed a total of about 6 months out of his life from birth to now. Mom and Dad took him Summer 2010 for 58 days and I almost died. He went back Dec '10-March 10' b/c I was SURE I was moving back home in February and NOW that I am finally moving June 2011, he has been gone since the week before Easter.
Wtf am I doing? No one can really understand how I feel. What mother in the right mind would leave their child for extended periods of time? me. Because somewhere in my delusuional mind I believed I could really make a way for us and do it MY way. I have missed soooo much that I can't get back and every day I'm away from him, I understand more and more why I should have waited to be older and married to have him. None of this is fair to him...He didn't ask to be born and now I am responsible for providing him the best life that I can and I swear on my life I won't let him down...I can't.
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