to modeling for good. Maybe I am just feeling some type of way because of the shitastic events from yesterday, but I am REALLY questioning if one of my dreams will ever come true. I am 24, no longer live in a city where work can be found easily, not agency signed, still not at my goal size and have no future prospects. Every time a job/opportunity comes my way, I snatch it up/apply for it/check it out etc and still nothing.
The last notable thing to happen was an email back from Edwinna at Eddy and Bri and I wasn't able to make that shoot becuase I wasn't going to be in NYC at the time. That was back in October! I entered the PMM/Dorothy Combs contest and didn't place as a finalist. I am entering Full Figured Fashion Week both to walk and to be the face of. The last opportunity that I know of this year is for a Curvy Fashion weekend in Maryland in July.
I am just getting discouraged...I have been trying hard, losing weight, shooting and trying to put myself in the best position possible to be a successful plus size model...I just don't know if it's meant to be anymore. If it wasn't would all these great opporunities keep presenting themselves? And if it is...when is it my time to shine? And can I actually get my time? *sigh*
So I said to myself yesterday if I can't move forward with modeling by the end of this year, I'm done for good. It will be CicelyPlusModel no more...just MUA, mommy to Liam and future RN...it truly makes me sad to think about, but I don't want to keep chasing a dream that is just that....a dream.
Yeah, I think you are just feeling discouraged with everything that is going on in your life right now. Keep pursuing your modeling career until the end of the year and then reflect on it. Be honest with yourself and determine if you are just wasting your time or if you should keep going. I would hate for you to have to give up on your dream but sometimes we just have to grow up and face reality. But don't let this affect your weight loss!
ReplyDeleteI honestly dont think you should give up. Its a tough career, and one that takes time to build up. I think it is WHO u are. I can relate to this too and know how u feel. I felt like that about my photography. I tried hard with it, and at one point was pushing it hard, and then just let go. BUT it is something that will ALWAYS be with me, because it is my passion, its part of ME. its not something I "gave up on" or should let go of, Just like ur modeling. It might just not be the right time for it to go forward, with everything going on with your life at the moment. BUT there will be a time when it will just lay easily for you. so dont give up on it! =)
ReplyDeletewell girls, I can't believe I was REALLY ready to call it quits...opportunities have already come up! God is good and thankfully He put u guys in my life to encourage me!
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