Down some more lbs!

I WILL post a YT vid ASAP and edit this post to include it but for now...I lost 3.6 lbs as of Saturday March 10 and that puts me @ a total weight loss of 35.6 lbs...WOW! I'm approaching 40lbs! :)

The More I Do, The Less is Done

Let me begin by saying that I know that I was not ready to be a mother at 21, I wasn't even sure if I wanted kids  until I was MUCH older or at all, but when I decided that being a mother was going to be the next step in the journey of my life, I have been trying to dedicate my life and myself to making a wonderful life for Liam.

There always seem to be outside forces looming overhead making sure I know I'm not doing a good enough job with him and frankly, it pisses me off. When someone attacks the way I do things and then later has NO solution for me to do them better, I want to tell them to f**k off. Interestingly enough, these statements are often made outright by my father and oh so subtly by QFC. I'm sick and tired of it.

To start with Dad, "in my opinion you are just not a good mother. u weren't made to be a mother and I wonder why you made that decision"...umm thanks a f**kin' lot...KEY WORDS: in YOUR opinion. Again, I'm not the BEST mother I can be, but I can honestly say I am working on it. Yes I get frustrated, yes I am impatient sometimes, but Jesus! I'm trying to juggle EVERYTHING else and have to hear constant f**king nagging on top of what I have to deal with in court and every other thing in life. It is unbearable sometimes and I really don't know how I keep from exploding. Truly amazing. 

I don't take court serious enough - REALLY?!!?!!?!!?!?!?!? I call/email/text/postal mail my lawyer every week...couldn't get in touch with him the last 2 weeks because he was OUT OF THE COUNTRY. I fax/mail him papers that NEVER get seen in court, hell I don't even know if he reads them. I have to constantly prove to them that I am a good parent. I have to account for everything I do. I have to use MY money to travel with Liam to NYC and NEVER once asked for anyone else's. I am the one who initiated this case, I was trying to be responsible and establish some stability in both of our lives. It turns out to the SECOND biggest mistake of my life. Once I relay information to the lawyer that he has to relay to the judge, if he doesnt do HIS job, there is nothing that I can do! I have no contact information for Liam's crt appointed lawyer, I have no information on how to set up his evaluation and no on seems to have any answers!!! #DONE

So then I'm selfish too. "If I were you, I'd work 3 different jobs to support my son"...oh yeah dumbazz...I do!!!! My job at the library is only 20 hrs a week and I am grabbing ALL the Benefit dates they are giving me and have already booked EVERYTHING Smashbox on the Spring roster. No other jobs in this area that match my skill set are going to pay like the freelance job or even like the library job even with a Bachelor's degree! So wtf am I supposed to do? I am working in a field that fits my personality, my time constraints, my  skills and certainly has great pay. In 7 months in this wonderful state I have found NOTHING else that works with that.

I go to the gym - yes because I don't want to be fat and unhealthy anymore. My actions, eating habits and physical activity all will have a positive influence on Liam and also allow me to spend more time and energy on and with him...so RIGHT.

It's not a good idea for me to go back to school right now, I should wait...til when? the 2nd coming of Jesus? If I have the opportunity to go to school and I don't have to quit the library immediately WHY would I not take it? This makes zero sense. The perfect job for me would be a Retail Account Manager for Benefit or a Regional Artist for MUFE, but guess what? Those jobs require traveling 75% of the time. If I was selfish I wouldn't care that I would hardly see Liam, I would hire a nanny and take the job anyways! Those would be career positions, ways that I could advance in the near future, but I have scrapped that idea because I can't stand to be away from him like that anymore. So how could starting a much more open, flexible and non saturated career in Nursing be a bad move?!

Yes I'm not the best housekeeper - the only thing I can say to that is I can do much better, but my better will never be YOUR version of clean/tidy etc...

I am beyond frustrated. What was a decent week has now gone to hell! Thank you Dad for reminding me what a P.O.S. I truly am! Gotta have people around like you to keep me on my toes and let me know how I'm not good enough, I'm constantly selfish and I'm a terrible mother. This post is dedicated to YOU!!!! 

Healthier is Better

I meant to do this post about a week ago, but I have passed the 7 month mark! If I can continue to lose about 10lbs per month, by October I will be within 6-12 lbs of my final goal. That is truly amazing. Being on this journey has opened up my eyes, my mind and I am in a much better place in every aspect than this time last year.  I am so happy for the support of friends and family and still can't believe I am doing this/have done this.

So to break down my plans a little further here is my lb by lb plan to shed the weight:

today March 7 - 296.2
March 10 -294 weighed in at 293.2! #POW
April 7- 284
May 5 - 274
June 7 (end of my Isabody Challenge) 264 (that would be a total of 44 lbs lost during the challenge; I started at 308 lbs with the challenge)
July 7 - 254
August - 244
September - 234
Oct 31 (I will give myself until the end of the month) 220-224


I will continue to do Get Fit Club until the Summer is over and possibly start again in the fall and take ALL the classes the YMCA offers that I can fit into my schedule. By mid-April, I want to be working out 5x/week. I may hire another trainer, I am on the fence about that...we'll see.

In the near future, I'm going to do an 11 day body transformation where I stick to the Isagenix regimen STRICTLY and do a total of 4 cleanse days during that period! I'm not going to deviate from the plan at all especially on the cleanse days. I'm so ready for this!!

 me at 328 lbs - my highest weight!! YIKES! 

 me now at 296

Back on Track...well mostly

I will be posting my WLJ Week 28 Vid sometime today and I am so glad to be back on track. I have a goal this week to lose another 2 lbs. I want by the end of this month to be to a certain weight and if I fast and follow my Isagenix the way I'm supposed to, I'm pretty sure it will happen! I am really liking/adjusting to my new body. It's nowhere near where I want to end my journey but I am amazed at the changes the human body can make! I look better right now at about 30 lbs heavier than right after I gave birth to Liam. That is where the exercise comes in.

This month, my plan is to get 4 workouts in per week. I have my 2 Get Fit Club trainings per week, I signed up this month to do TRX 1x/week and I will try to workout at LEAST 1 time with my Jillian Michaels Power Yoga. If I can keep everything together, I'm hoping to shed 8 lbs this month...#leggo!

Until again,
Cicely

The rest of my Modeling Portfolio thus far...

Featured on Plusmodel411.com ! :)

http://www.plusmodel411.com/2012/03/featured-model-cicely-carter/

Come check me out! :)

I'm Blessed

A lot has been going on in the past weeks/months, but I'm/we're still here. I want to send up prayers again for all the people affected by the t-storms and tornadoes sweeping across the midwest and the south :(. Things like that makes us realize we are but human!

My weight loss is back on track. I am down another 1.8 lbs. I'm really gonna bust my ass now and forward. My Isabody challenge is over June 6 and I want to be another 20-30lbs down in 3 months. That's going to take hard work and REALLY sticking to the regimen, but I know I can do it. After June, my next big goal is Liam's 3rd bday which is when I plan to be my size 16 in jeans and dress! I cannot wait!

Work with Benefit is AWESOME! I have a total of like 45 hours with them this month. I am so blessed for this opportunity. I am working there today 12-5 and honestly, although I hate KY sometimes. God meant for me to be here right now doing this exact thing. I know it, I feel it and when Nursing school begins, I honestly cant wait to start that chapter in my life. God doesn't necessarily work in mysterious ways, I think He just works in ways we wouldn't have the divine knowledge to work in ourselves.

I am feeling good this morning despite the many challenges looming overhead for me....I'm going to pray and keep praying and hope that things will be alright. I will be posting a video today for my Week 28 WLJ - MONTH 7! Wow! :)

until again,
Cicely

Cicely WLJ Weeks 26 and 27

Cicely Face of FFFWeek 2012 Submission

Mom's Been a Busy Bee

This has been the longest and most jam-packed week I have had in a looooooong time. I'm exhausted. I'm tired even as a write this entry and am going to try to keep and it short while updating you guys.

News this week:

* Hired as a freelancer with Benefit here in Lexington - start today
*According to last month's measurements, I have lost 2.5 inches
*I am submitting my video for the Face of Full Figured Fashion Week. I am doing the video today and submitting today or tomorrow for the March 2 deadline. (I did NOT submit for the runway because I knew I wasn't ready yet)
* I am submitting to the Spokesmodel for Curves Rock Fashion Weekend in MD in July
* I will be featured this Monday on PlusModel411.com :) I will post the link here so you can read my mini interview and see it!
* On a whim I found what seems to be a reputable talent (singers, actors, models, etc) agency here in KY. I submitted to them and they contacted me back meaning I will have a go-see coming up with them in the next few weeks. I am cautiously optimistic and hoping something good can come out of this. The market that I am currently in is SO small, I know I will have to travel elsewhere for castings, shows etc...but we'll see.
*my bff James has an art show tomorrow night and In am definitely planning to go and support him
*I'm working at Benefit Saturday and Sunday!
*My goal is to get 5 workouts in this week. So today, tomorrow for sure and Sunday!

Will keep you guys posted :)