I Can't Love You This Much. No, I Can't Love You This Much

The funny thing with people is sometimes you find out things that change how you look at them. Not necessarily makes you love them any less, but brings the reality of the situation to light. MPL is certainly not the worst person in the world (I think Osama is front running for that one), but he does seem to use people excessively and I REALLY don't like that.

I'm not gonna play the holier than thou card. We all use everyone for something, but if there is a situation where the using is mostly one sided, then there r issues. I can't speak on the entire situation, cuz I can only go off of what I know to be true, what I have seen and heard. All of those things don't necessarily equal the truth, but they are the truth as far as I will probably ever know them.

He used me, hell I used him too. The diference was intention. His intentions were probably that of every other male, get what you want and leave. Mine were well this situation has presented itself, I have a choice, nothing will come out of it #leggo. One thing about him is I ALWAYS saw the person he could be, his potential, that man he wasn't living up to. So when he did dumb shit, that was the main reason I'd be pissed. Why can't you be the man you're supposed to be?

When everything was said and done, I realized that no matter how good I was or the things I put up with until he decided to make the change, things would never work. He may never wake up and be the man he's supposed to be. Not for me, but for himself. But it is there. I thought by loving him, it would be enough to spark that motivation in him, to make him WANT to do things differently. But it's not true. I won't let him use me. Only Monica knows how I still truly feel about him and that's the way I'm going to keep it. It's better for me to suffer in silence, than to tell him how I feel just for nothing to come out of it and to look like a damn idiot. I said my piece to him and now i have to move on. Cuz at the end of the day, I never meant shit to him...or maybe how Ive heard it before, "maybe the way he loved me was the best way he could". Well in this case, his best wasn't good enough. And I can't put myself in that situation anymore. #1anddone