FML...or at least certain aspects of it...i have purposely avoided talking to MPL or having really that much contact with him. I know how I am and the nature of my heart. If I can avoid a person or a situation long enough, it is enough for me to put the situation behind me...Not this time...WTF is going on? Why do we as humans always do things that we KNOW are not good for us to do? My mind knows what I should really do - leave him the hell alone and never look back!! My heart sings a completely different tune :( I am still in love with this dude and only time will change that. But I refuse to put myself back in that position. I cant and i wont.
It's funny cuz we talked last night on the phone for the first time in a long time and all those f-in feelings came back. He asked me about things that were on my mind...I wanted to tell him, I "still fuckin love u but it's pointless to tell u b/c even tho u alledgedly felt that 1 at one point, who knows if u still feel that way and even if u did...what would u do about it but fuck it up and hurt me AGAIN?"
uggh i despise men sometimes...no correction...i despise anyone that plays with people's feelings and thinks that shit is ok!!! :/ NOT
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