So yes, I did my first day of the Jillian Michaels Shred-it with Weights (Kettelebells) and I am loving it! :) It truly kicked my ass! :) I miss that feeling. I got a great burst of enegery. My hunger was down today and I was in a overall MUCH better mood. That being said, I am still far from where I want to be but moving steadily in the right direction.
My goal is to work out 5x this week. I will begin my gym membership at the YMCA this Thursday and start Weight Watchers this Friday or Saturday. I AM going to make this change, PERMANENTLY. I owe it to Liam as well as to myself :).
P.S. Full Figured Fashion Week next June in NYC??? Yep! here I come. I'm going to audition and I'm going to ace it and launch my plus model career once for all dammit. I'm focused, man!!! (Jay Z voice)
Monday, August 29, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Physical Fitness - Long Overdue
I am officially on my way. The Plan: Take it step by step + week by week. Every week I am setting a goal for my self and every month I am setting a goal for myself.
I am going to alternate 2 Jillian Michaels DVDs: 30 Day Shred & Shred-it With Weights (Kettlebell workout) AND supplement that with Weight Watchers and going to the YMCA gym. So my first week goal is to work out 5x, consume at least 1 bottle of water/day, no pop and eat healtheir.
I'm doing my goals in stages: Short term -50lbs in 5 months
September - goal is -10lbs
October- goal is -10lbs
Nov : -10lbs
Dec: -10lbs
January: - 10lbs
So by Feb 1 (my 24th birthday) I will be 50 lbs lighter.
Ultimate goal: This time next year - August 2012 - 100lbs lost and a size 14/16, (whichever comes first). Because of modeling, I am more concerned with size/measurements and less with weight. Overall I want to be healthy and active AND in plus size model shape :).
The work begins tomorrow! With 30 day Shred!
I am going to alternate 2 Jillian Michaels DVDs: 30 Day Shred & Shred-it With Weights (Kettlebell workout) AND supplement that with Weight Watchers and going to the YMCA gym. So my first week goal is to work out 5x, consume at least 1 bottle of water/day, no pop and eat healtheir.
I'm doing my goals in stages: Short term -50lbs in 5 months
September - goal is -10lbs
October- goal is -10lbs
Nov : -10lbs
Dec: -10lbs
January: - 10lbs
So by Feb 1 (my 24th birthday) I will be 50 lbs lighter.
Ultimate goal: This time next year - August 2012 - 100lbs lost and a size 14/16, (whichever comes first). Because of modeling, I am more concerned with size/measurements and less with weight. Overall I want to be healthy and active AND in plus size model shape :).
The work begins tomorrow! With 30 day Shred!
Poetry Pause
Heart/Mind (read as Heart Over Mind)
written 8/2011 - sole intellectual propety and original concept of Cicely N. Carter
I know how dumb I may seem
because every single day
something reminds me of you.
Even though logic dictates my brain
the rhythm in my chest knows I feel
otherwise.
written 8/2011 - sole intellectual propety and original concept of Cicely N. Carter
I know how dumb I may seem
because every single day
something reminds me of you.
Even though logic dictates my brain
the rhythm in my chest knows I feel
otherwise.
Poetry Pause
Haiku : Beat
written 8/25/2011 - sole intellectual propety of Cicely N. Carter
When u look @ me
my heart skips a beat, buh-boom.
i want this for life
written 8/25/2011 - sole intellectual propety of Cicely N. Carter
When u look @ me
my heart skips a beat, buh-boom.
i want this for life
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Young Single Mama Series: Mommy Gets Tired, Too
Since this blog is to encompass the many aspects of my life, I realized i have not been devoting much time to really discussing single motherhood. Many suggestions, entries I have to write on this subject are geared towards single moms, but I'm sure can be applied to married mom and moms in committed relationships.
Today's Topic: "Damn, I'm Tired"
Back in 2009 when I was a scared, pregnant 21 year old expectant Mom, I couldn't have fathomed what my life would be like 2 short years later. While I am no expert still on child rearing, I can tell you this: TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS TAKING CARE OF THAT BEAUTIFUL SON OR DAUGHTER YOU LOVE SO MUCH.
When Liam was born, I thank God for the miracle of being able to have a few choice friends and of course Mom and Dad for ongoing and unconditional support, even though far from us. They helped support me in ALL ways imaginable. I couldn't have made it through the first year of Liam's life without their invaluable aid and advice. While on maternity leave, things were much easier to handle, but once the honeymoon was over and it was back to work and school FT for me, life got much more challenging.
I will tell you some of the things that went to the wayside: my health, my appearance, my happiness to an extent. All because I wasn't exactly sure how to balance things and I was in overdrive. My day went by so fast and was consumed with so many things, sometimes I'd walk out of the house and forget to brush my teeth, put deodorant on or even simple things like comb/brush my hair. I was caught in the moment, trying to be SuperMom/Daughter/Cicely.
I now know that is impractical. I CAN'T do it all alone. At least not expecting results. So I want moms to know this: DO NOT feel guilty for doing things for yourself.
Examples:
taking a nap! - sounds so simple and so small, but this can make a world of difference in your state of mind and how you feel physically
treat yourself - go get your hair done, mani/pedi, read a book alone in the library for an hour, buy some new jeans or new shoes, take a walk outside around the block/to the park for your sanity. It is necessary every once in a while to do these things. You are a mom, but you are a woman, a daughter, wife, girlfriend, sister, friend, human!
frustration is ok- I used to feel bad when I would get agitated with Liam, thinking "what kind of mother does that?" All kinds. I am human, not a robot. When I am frustrated or overwhelmed, I pause and take a few seconds to reflect. "I love Liam. I love myself. Things will be ok". It helps me to regain control
mothering is not an exact science - no one is perfect and there is no one way to raise YOUR child. Do the best job you can do and enlist the help of those close to you and seek their advice. I'm not much of a disciplinarian, but I like sticking to routine for Liam. When we are in sync, it helps me get things together
ask for help or accept it when offered...need I say more?! lol
These are just a few suggestions to get you started! Please leave comments or any more suggestions you might have ! :)
Today's Topic: "Damn, I'm Tired"
Back in 2009 when I was a scared, pregnant 21 year old expectant Mom, I couldn't have fathomed what my life would be like 2 short years later. While I am no expert still on child rearing, I can tell you this: TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS TAKING CARE OF THAT BEAUTIFUL SON OR DAUGHTER YOU LOVE SO MUCH.
When Liam was born, I thank God for the miracle of being able to have a few choice friends and of course Mom and Dad for ongoing and unconditional support, even though far from us. They helped support me in ALL ways imaginable. I couldn't have made it through the first year of Liam's life without their invaluable aid and advice. While on maternity leave, things were much easier to handle, but once the honeymoon was over and it was back to work and school FT for me, life got much more challenging.
I will tell you some of the things that went to the wayside: my health, my appearance, my happiness to an extent. All because I wasn't exactly sure how to balance things and I was in overdrive. My day went by so fast and was consumed with so many things, sometimes I'd walk out of the house and forget to brush my teeth, put deodorant on or even simple things like comb/brush my hair. I was caught in the moment, trying to be SuperMom/Daughter/Cicely.
I now know that is impractical. I CAN'T do it all alone. At least not expecting results. So I want moms to know this: DO NOT feel guilty for doing things for yourself.
Examples:
taking a nap! - sounds so simple and so small, but this can make a world of difference in your state of mind and how you feel physically
treat yourself - go get your hair done, mani/pedi, read a book alone in the library for an hour, buy some new jeans or new shoes, take a walk outside around the block/to the park for your sanity. It is necessary every once in a while to do these things. You are a mom, but you are a woman, a daughter, wife, girlfriend, sister, friend, human!
frustration is ok- I used to feel bad when I would get agitated with Liam, thinking "what kind of mother does that?" All kinds. I am human, not a robot. When I am frustrated or overwhelmed, I pause and take a few seconds to reflect. "I love Liam. I love myself. Things will be ok". It helps me to regain control
mothering is not an exact science - no one is perfect and there is no one way to raise YOUR child. Do the best job you can do and enlist the help of those close to you and seek their advice. I'm not much of a disciplinarian, but I like sticking to routine for Liam. When we are in sync, it helps me get things together
ask for help or accept it when offered...need I say more?! lol
These are just a few suggestions to get you started! Please leave comments or any more suggestions you might have ! :)
In the Future
Sooo seeing some of Rihanna's tattoos got me thinkin lol When I get to my goal weight I'm going to reward myself. There are some obvious things like new clothes, new shoes - hell a new wardrobe!
The List (when goal weight/size is reached)
1) Get my last 4 tattoos:
words in latin (one 2 on lower rib cage to hip, 1 underneath underarm where bra sits; I still have no idea where I will put the one dedicated to Liam-foot? ankle?)
2) buy a skirt - slightly above knee length #pow lol
3) buy a fitted ress (like cocktail/going out dress)
4) eventually i think i should run in a race/marathon just b/c its something i've never done and i would like that sense of accomplishment
When I think of more, I will keep adding to the list :)
The List (when goal weight/size is reached)
1) Get my last 4 tattoos:
words in latin (one 2 on lower rib cage to hip, 1 underneath underarm where bra sits; I still have no idea where I will put the one dedicated to Liam-foot? ankle?)
2) buy a skirt - slightly above knee length #pow lol
3) buy a fitted ress (like cocktail/going out dress)
4) eventually i think i should run in a race/marathon just b/c its something i've never done and i would like that sense of accomplishment
When I think of more, I will keep adding to the list :)
Poetry Pause
Air Travel
written 8/22/2011
A Cicely Carter original - written on Paris Pike on the way home from work
if nothing eva really dies
then did my love for u just
stay on ground waiting for u to board
while I was really flying high
amongst the clouds
waitin for u to come along?
was it something i said
that really changed
the course of this flight?
or did u cancel the itinerary at the last minute?
was i only a test flight to break in
the plane for the next passenger?
or was i much anticipated,
the 1 u had been dreamin about boardin all this time?
i only regret i never got to see our destination.
my trip to Love ended
with a layover in Heartbreak
here i remain.
reclaimed my suitcase
from baggage area 808
i'm waitin for u here
giving u the last chance
my heart beats on the conveyor belt
churning through with the rest of the freight
pick Her up
or She's gone for good.
I only write when I am emotionally moved to do so. He did this to me. Some of the realest lines I've written in months. Felt good to get it out...This is a work in progress. As u read it now is in its raw form, just like the words flowed to my head and down to the pen and on the paper.
sole intellectual propety and original concept of Cicely N. Carter
written 8/22/2011
A Cicely Carter original - written on Paris Pike on the way home from work
if nothing eva really dies
then did my love for u just
stay on ground waiting for u to board
while I was really flying high
amongst the clouds
waitin for u to come along?
was it something i said
that really changed
the course of this flight?
or did u cancel the itinerary at the last minute?
was i only a test flight to break in
the plane for the next passenger?
or was i much anticipated,
the 1 u had been dreamin about boardin all this time?
i only regret i never got to see our destination.
my trip to Love ended
with a layover in Heartbreak
here i remain.
reclaimed my suitcase
from baggage area 808
i'm waitin for u here
giving u the last chance
my heart beats on the conveyor belt
churning through with the rest of the freight
pick Her up
or She's gone for good.
I only write when I am emotionally moved to do so. He did this to me. Some of the realest lines I've written in months. Felt good to get it out...This is a work in progress. As u read it now is in its raw form, just like the words flowed to my head and down to the pen and on the paper.
sole intellectual propety and original concept of Cicely N. Carter
Monday, August 22, 2011
Think It's Time to Rename My Blog...
The more I mull over it and seriously envision my future, I think law school is out of the picture. I love the notion of fighting for justice and deciphering complex legal jargon, but I can't envision myself doing it forever. I think it would be one of those things that I start off with all the gusto in the world, but then slowly begin to lose steam as the job and its harsh realities set in. I don't want that to be my career. I have always been driven by things I believe in, feel passionate about and that ,whether immediately or later, help people. I truly enjoy working with kids and it puts a smile on my face, but this isn't what fulfills me, what makes me feel complete. It only took 23 years to figure it out, but what I truly want to do lies in art form, creative expression. This is who I am and for now want to be. I'm not realizing my creative potential. I am a writer first, an aspiring model second & a growing makeup artist. I am interested in things that change and evolve and that require constant learning and training.
Being a freelance makeup artist brings me joy. I LOVE to buy makeup, I love to apply makeup on others. I love the variances of peoples' faces, I love teaching people new techniques, i love having people being satisfied with something I do for them. I love the textures, colors, brushes, finishes, smells, mixing, adding, sculpting, contour, shapiong. Here is where my heart lies.
On the other side, I love to model. Giving "face" is about one of my most favorite things in this world. I love the look of clothing and how it fits the female form. I love the movement of the body and discovering more about its placement. I love haute couture, I love heels, I love looking at models in print ads, i am infactuated with the indsutry...There is where my heart lies
I love spending time with my son, I love watching him grow, reading to him, cooking with him, dancing with him, smelling his hair after a bath, powdering him with baby powder, tickling him until he laughs uncontrollably, watching him sleep, kissing his feet and hands, giving him kisses, giving him hugs. This is where my heart belongs.
I NEED all 3 of these things wrapped in 1. :) So with that in mind...I can no longer be FutureLawyerModelMama...what am I now?
Being a freelance makeup artist brings me joy. I LOVE to buy makeup, I love to apply makeup on others. I love the variances of peoples' faces, I love teaching people new techniques, i love having people being satisfied with something I do for them. I love the textures, colors, brushes, finishes, smells, mixing, adding, sculpting, contour, shapiong. Here is where my heart lies.
On the other side, I love to model. Giving "face" is about one of my most favorite things in this world. I love the look of clothing and how it fits the female form. I love the movement of the body and discovering more about its placement. I love haute couture, I love heels, I love looking at models in print ads, i am infactuated with the indsutry...There is where my heart lies
I love spending time with my son, I love watching him grow, reading to him, cooking with him, dancing with him, smelling his hair after a bath, powdering him with baby powder, tickling him until he laughs uncontrollably, watching him sleep, kissing his feet and hands, giving him kisses, giving him hugs. This is where my heart belongs.
I NEED all 3 of these things wrapped in 1. :) So with that in mind...I can no longer be FutureLawyerModelMama...what am I now?
How Is August Almost Over?
*sigh* I can't believe I have bene out of New York about 9 weeks now. It makes me sad, but more focused at the same time. There were things I HAD/Still HAVE to do & I wasn't getting any closer being there. I think I might move back, I really want to. Mainly, to make my last and final attempt at having a modeling career. I want this for myself, I want it for Liam. I can't deal with living the rest of my life never knowing if I could have made it or not...
I am making a promise to continue to take care of myself. ALL of myself: mentally, physically, emotionally. I want to grow and continue to be a better person, better mom, better everything. I'm not looking for love or validation from any1. I want to be a peace with myself and do what's right by and for my son.
The next to I move (be it to NYC or anywhere else). I'm going to be smarter, wiser and more prepared. Most importantly, I'm going to be focused!!!
I am making a promise to continue to take care of myself. ALL of myself: mentally, physically, emotionally. I want to grow and continue to be a better person, better mom, better everything. I'm not looking for love or validation from any1. I want to be a peace with myself and do what's right by and for my son.
The next to I move (be it to NYC or anywhere else). I'm going to be smarter, wiser and more prepared. Most importantly, I'm going to be focused!!!
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