Convenience

noun

1.

the quality of being convenient;  suitability.

2.

anything that saves or simplifies work, adds to one's ease or comfort, etc., as an appliance, utensil, or the like.

3.

a convenient  situation or time: at your convenience.

4.

advantage or accommodation: a shelter for the convenience of travelers.

Today's post is brought to you by "convenience", making life easy since the dawn of time. I have been thinking about this for the past couple of days and well it boils down to these three things (imho).

1) Humans will ALWAYS do the most convenient thing! Why? Because it's EASY. EASY is fun, it's good, it requires no effort. Like that Easy button from Staples, just press it and #bam!

2) When things go outside of what is convenient for us, chances are unless there is something significant to gain from our efforts, we won't follow through with it

3) We all fall victim/use this for our own personal gain to this at one point or another.

Lesson: I am the type of person who rationalizes the things that people do. I pay very close attention to details and pick up clues from what people do/don't say and their actions. I try to give muhfuggas the benefit of the doubt lol, it is one of more flaws that I have. A recent text convo with DD made me really think about this: When I was in NY it was convenient (relatively) for us to hang out those six nights in a row. So yes, I'm sure he could have found better things to do, but after all "Cicely the Novelty" was only gonna be in town for a short week.  

From something he texted me and gathering from things he hasn't said, I feel it in my bones that I was just that girl of convenience. It's one of those "Ain't that some shit?" moments lol, part of my f--ked up life. It's funny how I can take this all in stride. He may not have intended to be like that, but it is what it is. I get more clues than anything from what people don't say. I haven’t sent him a text message since Wednesday and am honestly just waiting to see how long it takes him to get back in contact with me first. I believe it is safe to conclude that he won’t be coming to Kentucky and I surely won’t be holding my breath on that one. I think he intentions were well, but good intentions are just that. I need action behind words.

I have an incredible talent for expecting the least/worst out of people. When they show me something else, I get a glimmer of hope,  but usually people live up to my low expectations. Sometimes I feel like my life is a play or a movie that I am just watching unfold. It's like I see these things happening or I sense them, but I am a spectator in my own life. Kinda weird right? There are a couple of more clues that will point giant arrows to the point I am currently trying to get across, but I will only write about those when they come to fruition. In the meantime, I'm gonna sit back and let things unfold as they may and get out my bowl of popcorn and 3-D glasses to watch as the plot comes to fruition. But like my man Jay says "on to the next". In my case, it's on to myself. I'm 100% sure dating is not my steez anymore. All I can care about is my son, my career and getting this $. Once Liam is grown, I'm changing my blog to The Lifelong Bachelorette :). There's nothing wrong with being alone, I won't be lonely but I'll be living the sola life and enjoying every minute of it.